Does death have to be such a stigma ? If I choose to go can my loved ones be satisfied knowing that peace is with me (I hope) and I no longer suffer the unbearable, day to day mental obfuscation my own mind commits yet is self unrecognizable while it’s happening and too late to matter enough after the fact ? That has been my struggle since I was 18, I suppose, I’m 26 now and I’m ready to join the 27 club(if I get there). Everybody has their problems I suppose and I am no different, however I do feel like a 1 in […]
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Xanax
About three months ago, my girlfriend and I broke up and I miss her so much. I miss the times we had together and the dreams that we shared for our future. Now it’s all gone. I don’t want to go on anymore. I’m putting some of my affairs in order today, writing a letter, and going to do it. A lot of alcohol, some sleeping pills and Xanax, and finally, a plastic bag over my head before I pass out.
so. this is my second time posting something here.
i had a panic attack last night. and drove 30 minutes away to my family’s cottage where i then spent the night. the whole way there i was driving at at least 85 mph. there were a few times where i actually almost went off the road. and i dont think i cared very much.
my best friend was supposed to come visit me at college tomorrow. but we got into an argument because i said some stupid things. and now he isnt coming. and i’m extremely upset by this.
we got into an argument about a month ago. […]
I don’t know where to start. All i know is at 29 i should be further in my life than this. I’ve had SEVERE anxiety issues since i was in elementary school. I had to quit school and get my GED because of it. I went to cosmetology school and didn’t take my test because i was too nervous and was scared i was going to make an a** out of myself. Anyway, my dad who has cancer pays my rent. They denied me for food stamps so i have no food and no way to pay my bills. I’ve tried to work but because […]
I don’t even know where to start explaining this…for that matter I’m not even sure that I’m trying to explain something to begin with. Maybe I’m just trying to understand it. Maybe some part of my brain is hoping that if I string enough words together someone, somewhere, will be able to explain it all to me.
I don’t even know if I’m suicidal. I used to think that “suicidal” was something definitive. Something that you’d know if you were or you weren’t. It didn’t seem like the sort of thing you’d miss, you know? I suppose if someone asked me outright I’d say no, I’m […]
Things, for lack of a better word, have not been well. A year ago, I met the woman of my dream, an angel, true beauty. We were married and the wine began to flow. I’d find myself needing to leave bars, having put down more whisky and xanax than any normal man should. One night, while in a drunken rage, I did the unspeakable, a slapped that beautiful woman. The look of sadness and pain in her eyes is still etched in my brain. I was arrested and sentences to some alcohol classes. The drinking worsened to the point that we started staying apart several […]
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