Tag:

Yes

Yes, I know I’m going to die alone

by majesticwalrus 7/23/2015

written by majesticwalrus

I’m okay with that. If I can make peace with that, why the hell can’t any of my family members stop bugging me about being single? I know I haven’t dated anyone since 2012, but judging how things went then, being alone isn’t so bad. It’s not that I haven’t gotten over the last girl I dated, I just don’t feel the need to have all of the drama I had last time. I’m going to die in a month, so why the fuck does it matter?

The only reason I’m ranting about this is that I am currently visiting some family and my dad couldn’t […]

7/23/2015 22 comments

Damn

by One Million Masks 7/5/2015

written by One Million Masks

I’d actually managed to forget what hollow meant, but hello– again– emptiness.

It’s not just that, of course; when it rains it pours.

Empty and useless and harmful.
Stupid and weak and obnoxious.

Yes, hi there–

Tired and wired and failing.

Well, it can’t all be smooth sailing I suppose–

Painful and wasteful and clumsy.
Willful and pitiful and stumbling.

Okay, sure, yes, but–

Just look how fast you’re crumbling.

Hey wait a minute, I’m–

Don’t you ever get tired of denying it? You’re wasting your time, just give in and start crying again.

But–

From your head to the tips of your toes, from your blood to your brain to your bones, you are empty.

No, no, […]

7/5/2015 6 comments

Simple.

by cephalus 7/1/2015

written by cephalus

Have you ever wanted to ask: “Hey, How are you. Is there anything I can do to improve you?”… (the subtext being, before I go?)

There are so many people here I care about. Yes, some more than others (anon Lara, lookin at you kid!) .

I fail, I’m awkward. I wish I could clone my heart and give each of you a piece.

[edit] Might as well throw in a song for good measure: Maybe the lyrics apply maybe not.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IqHKGcujap0

pull the ripchord
the ship has lost its sail
your mama’s got a new man
your daddy always fails
and you’re eating again
at them
’cause nobody loves […]

7/1/2015 3 comments

Inheritance

by bambi 6/4/2015

written by bambi

My inheritance is not in the form of material possessions.

My inheritance is not written into my parents’ wills. It wasn’t written into their parents’ wills either.

Our family heirlooms take the form of sertraline, once a day, everyday.

Beta-blockers for anxiety.

Checking. Checking everything. Are the doors locked? Yes. I will check them again. And again.

And again.

I didn’t use the oven today, but I will still make sure it is off.

My inheritance is mood swings and fear. Insomnia and disordered eating. Addiction and self-doubt.

And just as I have inherited my brown hair and freckles, I have inherited all of these things too.

6/4/2015 2 comments

You Are Important

by lovethebrokenone_ 5/6/2015

written by lovethebrokenone_

My name is Aria. Throughout elementary school, I had a fairly normal childhood. The school bully threw basketballs at my head, called me a teachers pet, and it didn’t really bother me. However, though it shouldn’t have, what bothered me, even when I was in 5th grade, was what my “friends” thought. They used to laugh at me when I didn’t know all the popular songs, didn’t have the newest wii games, couldn’t name the movie they were quoting, and didn’t do my hair the same way they did. I was different, and I didn’t like it.
In 8th grade, the stakes got higher. Though […]

5/6/2015 1 comment

To T, my love.

by anthropophobia 5/3/2015

written by anthropophobia

You complete me, T

I want to fill your ass with semen in it’s entire T.

Yes you inspire me, perhaps it’s your sensuali T.

Yes, you will see, it’s your oppourtuni T,

I need to embrace thee. There is no shame in modes T,

I need to say what is true to me. You are the pinnacle of sexuali T.

I will be your tree, anchored with roots of stabili T.

Whether you are he or she, I will stay by you for eterni T.

I love you to the the 3rd degree, and all of your ecentrici T

So come let’s be free from the restraints of socie T

Live with me in […]

5/3/2015 8 comments

Plans

by Matt 3/27/2015

written by Matt

Mum asked me today if I have any plans for next week.

No mum, nothing much.

Yes mum, I’m going to kill myself if you give me half a chance.

I want to comfort her in advance but she’d stop me.

I have to do this for myself…

Or die trying.

That’s the idea anyway.

3/27/2015 4 comments

Not Suicidal but…

by TheStonerWhoCould 3/11/2015

written by TheStonerWhoCould

Suicidal: deeply unhappy or depressed and likely to commit suicide. Is that the way I feel? Yes

Do I think about it every day? Yes

Do I dream about it? Yes

Do I want to do it? Yes

Yet I still think there should be a different word. I think about it all the time, jumping in front of cars, off trains, suicide by cop, slitting my wrist, taking pills again, but something isn’t right. I can’t get it right. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. Is that still suicidal? I don’t want to die, I just want to not live.

3/11/2015 4 comments

Yes..

by genesis0987 12/2/2014

written by genesis0987

The end is approaching, I can feel it. Everything is going against me, creating the only path which is right for me, suicide. By the end of this year hopefully it’ll be over and done with. Noone else is going to get the chance to disappoint me, no plans will be cancelled, no promises broken, no fake smiles aimed in my direction, my heart will ache and break no more. Just brief freedom whilst in the air and then boom. Finally dead and gone.

12/2/2014 0 comment

Prolonging the inevitable

by creatoroftheuniverses 11/30/2014

written by creatoroftheuniverses

i don’t know where to begin. I’ve been suicidal for about a year now.

I am a Christian

Let me tell you why I decided to add the previous statement to my post. Yes, as a Christian I do believe in heaven and hell. And I believe that after all I’ve done on this earth that is where I am being sent.

That’s why I’m still here. I’m afraid of what I believe awaits me in the afterlife, so I haven’t killed myself yet. I don’t want to experience hell. Trust me if I for sure knew I was going to paradise after I cut the switch I […]

11/30/2014 6 comments

Still Here

by JustLauren 10/22/2014

written by JustLauren

Hello everyone.

Yes, I’m still here.

I was about to do it but called a very important person to say goodbye. Someone I love very much. Someone I had once but do no longer. They told me that they couldn’t be with me if I was gone. So with that little bit of hope, I put the bottle away. I still have my suicide date set for the day after Thanksgiving (how ironic), but for now, I’m hanging in there.

Thank you to everyone who answered my last post. It meant a lot to me.

10/22/2014 3 comments

TL;DR

by Roars Kilde 10/20/2014

written by Roars Kilde

It’s funny, despite it all, I’ve never felt this at ease before.

Whether its true acceptance, or an effect of events just causing an emotional overload and subsequent shutdown, numbing, and carefree state, I don’t know. Either way it doesn’t really matter.

How I survived the other times still confuses me, seems so simple, how could one screw up something like that, multiple times even, so strange.
An old friend once said to me years ago, “you know they say practice makes perfect”, sorta to lighten up the whole feeling of “how pathetic and useless am I to be able to fuck up something that easy”.
Might […]

10/20/2014 2 comments

the choice between family or family

by blueeyes94 9/28/2014

written by blueeyes94

My little brother was in an accident tonight. Was thrown from the truck. Yes, there was alchol involved and he is a minor but that is not the big issue for me right now.
He wanted me to come get him and not my dad. When I told my dad where I wanted to go he told me if I went to get him I would get kicked out of our house. Im so torn and so depressed. I can’t be the big sister I need to be because fear of getting kicked out. I really just […]

9/28/2014 5 comments

Reasons not.

by InbetwixtLives 9/7/2014

written by InbetwixtLives

Yes, I want to crawl in a hole an die sometimes.

Yes, I want to slash my wrists.

Yes, sometimes blood is on my hands.

But no, that does not mean I’m never happy. Chocolate makes me happy. Lana Del Rey makes me happy. Music makes me happy. Learning how to play the piano makes me happy. Words make me happy.

When you smile at a stranger and they smile back, it’s moments like those that make me happy. And I know, this is sappy. Somedays, I will post deathly dark stuff on here that is, at best, cringe-worthy. But you know what? It’s different today. Hopeful.

Here’s to being […]

9/7/2014 2 comments

The great expectation.

by No_where_to_run 9/2/2014

written by No_where_to_run

I’m never good enough, I never make the right decisions, according to everyone else. I managed to pull A’s and B’s out of my ass when my mother passed away. I went back to classes two weeks after my entire life was destroyed before my eyes and yet I passed a university semester with flying colors. So, I tell my parents, being my step mother and father that I want to take an aerial silks class to, you know..do something for myself for once. I am a straight A student, I personal train three days a week and I hold a really good job, and […]

9/2/2014 2 comments

Yes. I will commit suicide.

by kissmyb0nes 9/1/2014

written by kissmyb0nes

So it’s been awhile since I’ve been on here. I’ve started cutting again, continued to purge and restrict, and also binge. I’ve been depressed for two years… I might not commit suicide just this second, but soon I will end my life. I’m not sure when I will finally break and not be able to handle it anymore. Nobody notices that I’m not okay.

Nobody notices the sadness in my eyes.

Nobody hears the voices in my head

Nobody notices the vomit in the toilet.

Nobody notices the cuts on my skin.

Nobody notices the stash of laxatives.

9/1/2014 2 comments

can we find a place to be together

by misanthrope 8/22/2014

written by misanthrope

A place where the suffering people ,like us,can live and try to find understanding and support amongst our own. If I dont go SOMEWHERE,ill die soon.. YES,it seems unwise,I suppose ,to draw all the walking wounded mentally ill and despairing desperate together into one place—,but isn’t the loneliness and pain already unbearable and are not many among us already taking extremely risky and reckless chances to attempt to kill th pain? What if we could make a pilgrimage to our very own monument- a monument to outrage,and sadness,and despair.It would be a monument to express ALL the MANY Reasons we are suicidal and suffering.What if […]

8/22/2014 16 comments

just when I was starting to have fun:(:(:(

by misanthrope 8/18/2014

written by misanthrope

Errr-sorry about the unsupportive manner in which I was attempting to “help” the poor upstanding father to cope,just then…It was Tough Love..and I think it can be very effective if applied the right way….I really do love this site and honestly it helps me quite a bit. I dont want to get 86’d out of here,guys.

For some reason,that seems to happen to me wherever I go and fairly frequently.(???WHY???)I feel so persecuted sometimes.Prob because im so pretty..Yes,I think that must be it.Jealous and Unattractive people are behind this campaign of persecution:):);) (JK)

Seriously though,I cant stand homophobic people. Makes me get […]

8/18/2014 44 comments

Yes or No?

by rich51bruhh 8/10/2014

written by rich51bruhh

I’m thinking whether I should seek help for my depression. (Just a self diagnosis) Everyday there is just something that makes me feel more and more miserable. I feel like such a disappointment and am just wondering before I actually do kill myself and leave my family to grieve. Should I actually seek help or is it not even worth it?

8/10/2014 4 comments

My first attempt.

by Amber 7/11/2014

written by Amber

So there I was. Laying in the cold water in the tub holding my arm. So many cuts, but none of course would have do exactly what I wanted. Yes, I’m talking about me dying. My thoughts on just laying there bleeding out came across my mind a lot. It wasn’t how I wanted it. I wanted to go fast and simple. Never knew how I would do it exactly. As more and more tears ran down my face the sickening feeling I kept getting in my stomach. So I attempted to drown myself, yes it sounds silly. I laid under the water still surprisingly […]

7/11/2014 6 comments

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