I am 17 and 6 weeks pregnant and want to die! I am so stupid I’m a runaway for almost a year and i got pregnant my parents lost there rights and i can’t get medical unless i go to a foster home I will never go back! i am stuck between 2 possible fathers and I Have feelings for both but at some point they are both assholes I am looking into ways to end mine and my baby’s life!
September 2012
My world is sinking in
Ankle-deep
And skin, too thin.
Trapped in solitude,
Surrounded by multitudes,
Misunderstood
Left unprotected,
Left too corrected.
Caught in a dream world,
Not here, not there.
Nowhere.
Bullet in my head,
Swinging from a tree,
Buried six feet under,
Why won’t she die?
Â
Ripped and broken,
Torn a sunder,
With a heart like hers,
It’s a wonder.
Let her wander,
In the desert,
Through the mud,
There is no water,
Only sun..
Breaking chains,
Breaking free,
Still feel bound,
To every day.
Breaking hearts,
Broken mind,
Breaking promises,
Need to unwind.
Breaking faces with fists of iron,
And suffering the consequences
From whence they burn.
Time to sleep,
Time to die,
It’s better than this,
Unable to cry.
Foundering in my thoughts,
Left to think,
It’s a crime,
To plot to murder yourself
For less than the dime
You found in your wallet,
Hidden in […]
I woke up with a masive head
I woke up with vomit around me
I looked up and saw my mom giving me a mop
I cleaned my mess
Last Night I took a whole bottle of advil with some ibeprofen
Last Year I started to be “different”
Friday Septemember 28 I found out that i was eligbue to be in a school for talented “Special” Kids
Yesterday I found out i can pay to be in that school
Today I wish I took more pills
I hate being 12 years old
I don’t know what to say. I’m close and the guilt that usually pulls me back isn’t as strong as it used to be. What makes this worse is I am so alone that I’ve resorted to the potential wisdom/comfort of strangers because “no one cares” is so bloody literal it has become unbearable. I’ve read posts and should be comforted that I am “not alone”, but to see so many people in so much pain who are so alone…it just causes more despair.
I used to think I didn’t want to be here anymore. Now I’m quite convinced I simply can’t.
So I was going to to homecoming with this one girl. She does go to a different school so I had to do all this bullshit paper work so she could go and get it approved by her school. SO after that was all out the way I bought the ticket. I told her and she said okay. Then ignores me the whole week! Homecoming was last night. But Friday at school I decided to not take her but take a really close friend of mine.
So I bought my friend her ticket and she was SOO excited. I was to I mean really we both […]
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I’m new here. Â Not too fond of social networks, though could this be called one? Â I guess, in some respects. Â That being said, I probably won’t be around often, not that anyone would really care since none of you know me anyway. Â I’m not really into divulging much about my personal life, but it’s never been easy. Â My mother is wacky to say the least, my dad is equally as wacky, and my sister is taking after them. Â Not that I’m not wacky, but I just don’t have the energy to 3v1 them. Â Most of the time, I’m either doing my homework or playing video […]
This song is a personal favourite of mine, one of my favourite Portugal. The Man songs actually. It’s off the album In The Mountain In The Cloud and you can read whatever you want into it, but it seems pretty obvious to me…
This song was used in the Doctor Who episode Vincent and the Doctor, and as any art lover will know Vincent Van Gogh was famous for suffering from severe depression (he cut one of his own ears off in a manic episode) and committing suicide at the age of only 37 scorned as an artist in his own lifetime…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khvC1M14S1M
I haven’t been on here for a long time because I really needed sometime to think. Thank you for all your comments they were very inspiring and helpful. It seems like everyone on here could be my family even if my family doesn’t want me, I see that. But now I have something popping up and I don’t know how to deal with it. I have had abusive boyfriends, cheating boyfriends, ‘use and go’ boyfriends, and just to sum it all up ‘BAD BOYFRIENDS’. It’s my fault for having boyfriends at a young age, but that is what i turned to for comfort, boys. I […]
And all the stories you can say, All the ways that you deceive, Will never stop me getting through, I will fight my way to you….
So this week has been pure shit. I mean, Suicidal thinking shit. Obviously.
First, I just haven’t been my self this week. I’ve been a blend of the the bad Nat’s that we know and love :3 Secondly, Thursday was 27/9/12 (The ‘day’ that the voices have been talking about for months) Nothing bad happened on that day because I didn’t go into school… Friday however was by far the worst day of the week.
So Friday- Woke up feeling okay, did all my routines. Did break down a bit third lesson but I brought myself back from it. Cue fourth lesson. I got a facebook message […]
I’m in terrible pain. For the last 20 years, I have always had thoughts of suicide, but for one reason or another, didn’t do it. I have been miserable since high school. I have always been a loser, who was told so by his father, then his grandmother and by all his so-called friends who do nothing more than use me. I am nothing more than pen, when the ink runs dry, I’m discarded. Right now, I’m totally broke, have no friends and feel like I have nothing to live for. I’m beginning to lose my fear of taking the ultimate step. A few years […]
I’m 17 Â years old and i really want to die right now. As a child i was sexually abused by my uncle. My dad is a jerk. My mom is a control freak. She wants me to do things that I don’t love. I even cried in front of her for like 10x already. I begged her many times that I really want to do what I love. They are all the same my grandma, uncles, aunts. My friends they just love me for my money. I was bullied in school for being ugly. I have low self esteem. I really want to make some […]
Whoever came up with the idea of society should be tarred and feathered. The jackass has, by proxy, ruined my life. To be fair to the inventor of society, I did contribute to the screwing-up-of-my-life, but society is like a rusty bear-trap; once you make a mistake, you’re caught, and you have to gnaw off your foot to escape from it.
And of course, the ignoramuses in the world all band together to chide on about how it’s solely your fault, despite the fact that you never opted to participate in the social contract. It was forced on you at birth. Questioning that is like […]
I can only suppress my emotions for so long and after a while the drinking, cutting and pill swallowing wear off and I’m left to face my demons. question is for how much longer?
I have a normal life. A mother and family who loves me. And I am so utterly sad. My childhood was a mess of beating and abuse from my schoolteachers. My little brother and best friend died. I crave sympathy and the shock on people’s faces. I do nothing but sit around and feel sorry for myself. I am pathetic, I am a fool, a selfish, ungrateful, self centered loser who cannot commit to anything. I am 15 and I want to die already. My father is whining pile of sh*t that I hate. He is evil and I see him every day. I cut […]
Been preoccuppied with sp chat and FBSP rather than the original. My old home. I have endured much in my past i jsut want out. I need a gun. Fast. My moms boyfriend wants to take me to mexico so we could shoot guns and shoot drug dealers cuz i want the army to “shoot people”. I want to off myself is the real reason. I am triggered by special phrases that fuck me over most of the time. Whats going on? almost always triggers the voices especially when im insane from 12-4 am… I started crying right now cuz of the voices coming back […]
Wounds aren’t so easily healed, especially when struck by those closer than others. Goodbye
Hi
i really can’t stop planning my own death. I am unhappy,sad,lonely.
My mind is full of regrets. I am crying as i am writing. It just sucks being me
I once knew a piper,
He danced to his own tune,
Got bit by a viper,
Got caught up in his doom,
Don’t we all know a piper,
Who got bit by a viper,
Dancing to tunes,
In the middle of our rooms,
And I need a cappuccino,
Don’t touch my oregano,
Or I’ll kick you where,
The sun don’t shine.
And those two lines,
Didn’t fucking rhyme,
Oh, well.
I know. I has skills at the poetries.
I am 27. And I havent accomplished anything in all this time.
Two years ago I attempted to kill myself, and obviously I failed. I got caught and then I was forced to talk to people, who told me that life was worth living, that suicide wasn’t the answer, that I should try harder, that my life would have some purpose. Two years later, and its still the same. The thought of death haunts me more often.
I keep pretending I’m so happy and ok, but this mask is fading away and I cannot keep it up, the truth is that I am slipping away, the truth is […]