I’m not really sure what I’m going to say in this. I apologize if I waste anyone’s time. I guess I’ll share my life story. I’m desperate at this point. My mother and father got divorced when I was 3 years old ( currently 17). She then married this man names Nathan. At first everything was ok. But it wasn’t… It started off with little things like if I spilled milk from my cereal he would hit me. But it escalated. He raped my sister, and would hit me and torture us all the time. Threatening to kill us if we said anything. My mother worked 3rd shift so she was always gone or asleep. One day we went swimming, I was maybe 5. I couldn’t swim. I don’t remember where we were but the image of that pool is forever engrained in my head. Shoved me in. And walked out. I remember being underwater.. So calm and peaceful. But then nothing. A man saved me. My mother divorced him then he went and did things to another family. I just wish I would have drowned. I have a lot of panic attacks at night but the thing is now I live a pretty nice life. Football player, nice car, but still at night I get so down. I’m ready to leave. Soon.
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4 comments
It can seem pretty hopeless sometimes, but the symptoms you’re describing can be treated. You said yourself now you have a pretty nice life, but at night you get down. That sounds like a treatable chemical imbalance caused by depression. Have you seen a counselor? I know a lot of people here will try to tell you that won’t work, but it does in a lot of instances. Focus on the parts of your life that make up the pretty good part, and get help with the parts that bring you down. Don’t be afraid to reach out, and if you think you can’t, just realize that by posting your story you just did. Keep strong, I don’t think suicide is the answer you’re looking for.
Thank you.
You’re welcome. Keep posting if it helps, it’s sometimes good to just talk to complete strangers with similar stories too.
My mom too met a new guy that she married when i was a kid. He too would hit me if spilled something and hit my mom in front of her friends. They stayed together for ten years. Now they divorced. At least you dont have to see him anymore.