So… My grandmother(current guardian) took me shopping today. Nothing out of the ordinary for a Sunday. We started arguing, also very typical. She said the friend I’ve just recently started hanging out with, Sarah, would leave me when she found out I cut and I’ve been hospitalized for it. I let her know that her and her parents both know. I’ve had in-depth conversations with her mom about it, because she’s been hospitalized as well, for depression. But then my grandma said that everyone that I hang around cuts themselves, and that I’m the reason they do it. As she was going into the dollar tree, I said “well you’re sick if thats what you believe” I don’t regret it.
She grabbed me by the throat and pushed me back to the edge of the sidewalk. All I can remember thinking is “oh my god how does no one notice this?!” she held me there by my throat for a couple of minutes before just turning and walking into the store like it didn’t happen. I followed her because I didn’t know what else to do… After that, in the car she said she was so close to beating the living shut outta me and she kept saying DSS(aka police for kid safety) wouldn’t do anything about it because that’s the best place for me…
But then she bought me coffee, like that’d make it all better, after a lot of hours… I just don’t know what to do about it… I’m too scared to tell anyone, which is why I’m resorting to this mostly-anon site for help… It was insanely triggering for her to grab me like that… And even more so that no one even gave a flying fuck about it… I haven’t cut… Yet… I’m trying so hard not to right now…
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7 comments
Your grandmother is being an asshole. Try to remember her comments are about HER and not related to your worth as a human being. No wonder you end up cutting to deal with things. Sorry that happened to you, and all of the other shit that makes cutting seem like a solution. If you have to cut because of her, it’s like giving her the power over you to let her cut you. She is also WRONG because there are plenty of people who would not think it was appropriate or okay for a person to beat you and hurt you, although it’s probably pretty hard for you to believe that since your own family hurt you and belittle you, the people who are supposed to love you the most.
Try and stay strong, your grandmother sounds unwell. Hopefully you can find someone to talk to who can help you find somewhere less abusive to live. 🙁
There are some twisted fucks out there. What do you want to do DSS doesn’t sound half bad compared to that.
fuck that ****…nobody shud even be laying a hand on u…what bullshit
Yeah, your grandmother is messed up. Sounds like she cares about you, but she’s doing it in all the very, very wrong ways. Not cool. I hope someone, if not you, can tell her that sometime.
Thanks for saying that 🙂 it actually does help a lot
Starr_Crys,
I don’t know your grandmother, but that was absolutely the wrong way for her to react and I completely disagree with her viewpoints. I hope physical acts against you such as the one you described are not a common occurrence, but if they are, I hope there is someone you can turn to.
L4Y
(L4Y@cogeco.ca)
Wait a few years until she’s old & bedridden. Then grab her by the neck and say the exact same words: getting the shit beat out of her is the best thing for her.
Yeah, that’s horrible advice for a bunch of reasons, but maybe that’s why my own life is messed up. I absolutely cannot tolerate people who abuse their children and think they can get away with it.