I’m going to keep this short and sweet.
So I’m a freshman in college 6 hours away from my home town. About a week ago my sister tried to commit suicide by overdosing on sleeping pills.
I found out about this from her boyfriend, her best friend, and my mom. (I also found out from her best friend that she’s had drug abuse problems recently.) I was able to contact her because she didn’t have her cell phone, but the day after she called me from the hospital. The gist of what I told her was that she should never try anything like that again. First off because she has a lot of people that love her and it would really fuck shit up if she was gone, and second because the only reason she’s feeling like this is because she’s sick. Her brain isn’t releasing enough serotonin and dopamine and her synaptic receptors aren’t working properly for those neurotransmitters (I’m a neuroscience major). I haven’t heard from her since, but my mom (who visits her in the hospital every day) says she doesn’t want to take her life anymore.
Side note, there have been significant studies that have been done that show when people take sleeping pills as a suicide attempt, they don’t actually want to kill themselves, because you would have to take the whole bottle. She only took 27 pills. Other than that, she’s beautiful (obvi she looks just like me haha), has a boyfriend that’s in love with her, and a solid group of friends. For the most part we have a supportive family and whatnot, so I can’t find any tangible reason for her to want to take her life.
Gist of my feelings: I’m angry because I can’t believe she would do something like that and not realize how much it would hurt everyone around her. I feel helpless cus I’m 6 hours away. I’m frustrated and confused because I can’t seem to digest how she could rationalize taking her life instead of just telling someone about it, because she was already seeing a psychiatrist.
So my question is, when I go home in 2 days and see her for the first time, what do I say to her?
4 comments
Being angry won’t help. People tend to attempt suicide because they want the pain to stop not because they want to be dead. The pain can be mental illness, secrets she’s not sharing, the drug abuse could be serious, etc. You said she was already seeing a psychistrist so must be reasons for that. And when you already feel depressed and feel like dying, then when you think of the people you will hurt it, it actually adds to your guilt and makes it worse so don’t get mad at her for that.
Give her a hug. Ask her what she needs and wants from you. Your mom says she’s not suicidal now but I highly doubt that. You say whatever you need to stop people from worrying. Don’t trust that she won’t try again.
I’m sorry this happened and I hope she gets over her depression.
Hey there,
I’m so sorry about this recent happening in your life. How about, just don’t say anything for awhile? See how things are flowing and what not. If it comes up, mention how you feel, but I would suggest doing it gently. Sometimes when you tell others how you feel after they have wanted to kill themselves, it is not the best feeling in the world. I know this from first hand experience, you see.
If you need or would like, drop me a line.
brl.cents@gmail.com
Good luck,
Blindaudio
give her a hug and tell her you love her. you are angry because YOU dont understand. most suicidals are trying to be rid of a pain and feel that evryone would be better off without them. knowing the clinical causes of depression is great, but their is a emotional, physical, and societal, side that also needs to be addressed. from your letter it sounds as if she has a good support system to work with, which is instrumental in dealing with depression. its not an easy fight,as you can tell from this site, but can be overcome. im glad your sister made it, as a loss of one is a loss to us all. good luck to you and your family and keep trying.
You said it: “her brain isn’t releasing enough serotonin and dopamine and her synaptic receptors aren’t working properly for those neurotransmitters” – no matter how beautiful she is, how much everyone loves her, her brain needs to be working properly for her to ‘get over’ her depression (I believe). It’s an illness and she needs medication for it.
I don’t think you should say anything in that regard, if she’s seeing a psychiatrist they should be saying all that kind of stuff to her, medication, chemical imbalance etc. As her brother I feel like you should just go to her with open arms and a big hug and friendly smile to make her feel comfortable with you and loved enough to talk to you about her problems. My boyfriend committed suicide and I felt suicidal afterwards and my brother came in to my room sat next to me and just gave me a huge hug and I just told him everything. He opened up to me and said that he suffers with depression and is on medication for it and that it really helps him and he encouraged me to see a psych because he said that really helped him. My other brother sent me a text and when I saw him in person he avoided the subject and was very awkward and 3 months later I still hold it against him. Actions speak louder than words! Show her you love her, care about her and would do anything for her 🙂