Everyday seems to blur by in a nonsensical motion that keeps me forever sick and tired. With each passing, I come to the realization that this life isn’t good enough. Living is just not good enough. It’s been that way for years now.
I can’t grasp as to why no one around me feels this way.
I see all these drunken smiles float by, while I still let myself believe my feet are firmly on the ground. I know they’re not. I feel myself falling more and more. I think of killing myself everyday now. My razor is always close by. I just want to end it, just to stop thinking, stop everything. I dont want this anymore.
I could never find the strength to admit these horrible thoughts to anyone I know. It always seemed like I would be just complaining.
I mean, my life isn’t horrible. Iguess from the outside, it’s fairly normal.
I’ve read post on here for months, and there are always people with such unspeakable experiences. So why do always stay awake at night and fantasize my death? Why can’t I just be like all these other people around me?
idk. Have a nice day.
1 comment
I obsess over death constantly as well. I think about and picture wretched shit. That scene in Hostel 2 when that girl gets her scalp cut off. The one on Pans Labyrinth where the captain wrecks that dudes face with a bottle. It’s so overwhelming to think about dying all the time, and I’ve tried plenty of times, but I’m glad I didnt succeed. If I died at 15 I would have missed so much amazing shit.
I think it’s admirable that you see thar your life isnt “that bad”. So now, its freaking simple…just fix you, piece of cake.
Life sucks. Don’t slit your wrists. Maybe the people you see smiling are miserable too…?