Hi this is my first Post, am 37 married mother of 4 kids and I deeply depressed, for so long I can not remember when I wasn’t, situations in my life are some of the reasons which contribute to my feelings, I recently found out my husband of 13years was cheating on me and even when I confronted him he didn’t even apologize just gave me a cold shoulder worse of all he doesn’t take of us well and if you ask him to provide for the kids he always say he doesn’t have money so many a times am left to carry urge burden which leads me to debts. So most times i feel so hopeless and distressed to the point of hurting myself. I don’t know if am in the right website I feel too old to be depressed I feel I should be the one advicing people not to be suicidal but am the one caught in the midst is it all. Not knowing what to do just praying and praying and praying even some more but seems my prayers are not going through. Am at the point of If am told to skip a thousand times while saying our father for my prayers to be answered I will do it with out a second thought. I just wish I could get someone to really care and love me and care for me.
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Hello Rao,I m very sorry that things became so much bad for u.Don’t blame yourself,u r not responsible for this.We only have the power to love someone with our heart and soul,but we can’t control other’s feelings towards us.Your husband seems to be a very selfish and heartless man.You gave your everything in this relationship so its not your mistake if he couldn’t value u and reciprocate your love.
Well hi for your first post that sounds pretty horrible and shit if you ask me. What a shit of a guy. Has it happened gradually or has it happened quickly. Life ain’t always picturesque.
I have looked at myself a thousand times and thought maybe if I was more pretty or slimmer or with so much money maybe I would be happy. I just wish I knew what would make me happy very happy. I hv considered divorce a million times but in our culture and religion its a taboo people have to continue staying in a relationship whatever the condition. When I talk to my mum and sisters they tell me they have also experienced the same but they have not left their husbands including my dad who wasn’t and isn’t faithful to my mum and they are still married. So I hv also to accept and as my mum told me I shouldn’t even consider leaving so am stuck with this kind of life so I am always down wishing to end it all. Whenever I hear someone has passed on I usually tell myself atleast they at peace. I go to church and pray desperately to have peace but its one thing I have never gotten
There’s no age restriction for depression and I don’t believe as you get older it becomes any easier to cope with life. Life is really tough sometimes for people, we have huge challenges to face. Yours sounds especially hard. It’s sad that the other women around you have accepted this kind of treatment from men, you are valuable and you deserve to be loved and treated with respect.
Sending a massive hug xx
Oh! It is really tough for u.Why would your husband do something like this? Where is his commitment? Its not about u being more pretty or having more money,it is about him being unfaithful,selfish and heartless.If u don’t mind my asking which country r u from,Rao? Please don’t punish yourself for his else’s mistakes and shortcomings.
Hi am Kenya in Africa am Christian Catholic married in the church so my situation is Abit tricky so I take each day at a time though it’s not easy but life goes on I don’t know how.
Thanks guys, I do appreciate your replies it means alot cause sometimes it feels as though am the only one who feels this way and no body cares. Thanks
Well,u are right.I can imagine what u r going through.But please don’t hurt yourself.Maybe your husband will realize is mistake and he will feel how much he has heart u.And then he will come down on his knees and ask for your forgiveness.Just wait and lets hope if things get better.Take care.
I’m 37, never even had a real relationship. No one could love me or marry me.
My life is kinda going down I think my end is very near I think this is the beginning of the end. I wish it would come soon to get rid of this fucking pain am feeling. God please forgive me for what I will do
Whatever happens, don’t trust him.I tell you this from the bottom of my heart and my own experience of 22 years.Ego is EVERYTHING to a selfish person and they won’t abandon it because of you.
Take it easy. Take deep breaths. Relax, you’re going to be fine. One step in front of the other; one step at a time. All we have is today, and as they say, the best thing about the future is that it only comes 24 hours at a time.
Go for a walk to clear your mind and take enough time to put a good plan of action together to move forward.
How old are your kids? Can any of them work part-time to support your neglected family? Can you still work while your extended family helps care for your kids?
It sounds to me like your husband is not being responsible and is being selfish, both on the sexual side and financial side. He’s a man who is not fulfilling his natural obligations towards his own wife and children. Shame on him.
Infidelity is not a deal-breaker in your religion? It sounds like your selfish husband knows your loyalty to your religion, thus, to him also, and took advantage of that. Double shame. He was probably a cheater before you got married and was always a cheater, all along. Sorry you had to hear that.
(By the way, I don’t think you can do anything to EARN the GRACE of God.)