Gottobewithoutlove

  April 19th, 2019 by fearandnofeeling

I’m at this point in my life where if I don’t get any affection soon I may finally end myself. I don’t know the meaning of love. My parents hate my guts. They never used to hug me, call me their daughter. Whenever I came back from school crying, they never asked if I was okay. Calling me names, pulling on my hair, slapping me across the face and kicking my back was the only attention I would get from both of them. Those actions made me very anxious of people in general. I started to isolate myself so I wouldn’t get hurt [...]
Continue reading...

Anyone seen Black Holez

  April 19th, 2019 by Gary555

I think he went to the monastery to try it out for a month and let the Monks observe him for that month as well. It’s been over a month and I haven’t seen him around. I’m thinking maybe his situation shifted to a better place and he doesn’t want to ruin that by coming back here. I’m also thinking he’s still there and he doesn’t have access to the Internet or he doesn’t have access to this type of board. If you’re reading this and you can respond, I’m sure people would like to hear an update on how you’re doing.

If it didn’t work [...]
Continue reading...

Push

  April 19th, 2019 by shatterediris

I’ve pushed them away….

Why do I keep doing this?

Continue reading...

I don’t know what to put here….

  April 18th, 2019 by oj1nDfKAHz

I don’t know what to say.
My life is nothing but crap.
From family abuse to life troubles. But everyone has those.
Where I am different is that I’m confused. On my 18th birthday which was long ago, my father physically abused me. Giving me a blank eye and calling me stuff like “you are a worthless pethetic ******, get the fuck out of my house.”
After awhile of abuse from this day I have started to hate myself for everything that I am.
I am a worthless, shameful ******.
I have been trying over the past few months to get a stable job to [...]
Continue reading...

Simulacrum of a Person

  April 18th, 2019 by basefree

Nothing I do feels authentic. I feel like all I do is perform. It’s a piss-poor performance that’s for sure. Far from art. I’m never my real self. I’m always uncomfortable and scared. An anxious phony. The pretender. Weakness in human form. Cowardice with a proper name.

Continue reading...

My Suicide is Inevitable

  April 18th, 2019 by cloudy days

I feel like my suicide is inevitable, like no matter how much progress I make or how much better I start to feel I eventually am always back to feeling hopeless and contemplating how to end it. Does anyone else feel like no matter what they do their life is just pointlessly building up to suicide- even if that death is far out in the future?

Continue reading...

I was almost kidnapped and raped… I lost everything

  April 18th, 2019 by itzkourt

I was an escort and I had gotten into a bad situation early this morning where I was almost kidnapped and raped. I was tied up with duct tape by my wrists and ankles, but luckily I escaped with my life and only my phone stolen (thanks to my persuasive abilities at the time). I had lost all my contacts as of now (including the one of my love), but I had an icloud which I could not reach at the moment. The detectives were going to do DNA tests and came to my house with photographs of possible suspects….. They were all my clients [...]
Continue reading...

Told Myself I wouldn’t End Up Back Here

  April 18th, 2019 by rich51bruhh

It has been an absolute long time since I have been on here. And I successfully avoided coming back here for a long time because I kept lying to myself by saying I am not depressed, I have no problems, and that I have no reason to end up back here. Well that was a fucking lie. Truth is I am in fucking denial. I walk around daily with a fake ass smile on my face and my chin to the sky making it seem like I have confidence and happiness. Truth is I am fucking pathetic. Honestly, I am just really fucking drunk and [...]
Continue reading...

How do you write a suicide note?

  April 18th, 2019 by peach

I tried so many times, but I couldn’t. I want to explain why I kill myself, but I have no reason to feel this way so I don’t know what to write..other ppl have way worse lives than mine.
Would I be an asshole if I don’t leave any note behind?

Continue reading...

Is this the end?

  April 18th, 2019 by Bonjour

Can’t sleep. Thinking if i’ll do it today. Should i take the easy way out? Somebody help me. :'(

Continue reading...

16 – Walking Dead

  April 18th, 2019 by soapandwasser

This is the most cliched comparison I could come up with but I have little to no motivation to live or die. I couldn’t care for myself as much as I should’ve. I couldn’t get my chores over and done with. I just lie anywhere I want to in the house and do nothing. I can’t do anything.

I’m tired. Of crying and not getting things done. And having nightmares. Really tired.

Continue reading...

Lost.

  April 17th, 2019 by nowheredespair

I feel lost, drifting. Some days I’m focused have enough to think this life’s actually worth it. Other times its just despair, trapped not wanting to leave my room. Loathing sunlight and the open air as if it were the enemy. The viscous cycle of negative thoughts that won’t silence. This is not what has led me to stand on the brink before. The anxiety and panic over academic work, whether or not I will fail. It hits me like a wave till I end up standing on the edge of a bridge or about to kick away the chair. This may seem irrational to [...]
Continue reading...

….

  April 17th, 2019 by born.loser

the one and only thing that will save me is my death 🙂

Continue reading...

I’m Done!

  April 17th, 2019 by lonewolf23

I no longer need alcohol. I just use Zoloft. Call me weak all you want. In that case I’ll just call people who need wheel chairs weaklings too. How bout people who need contact lenses, crutches, braces, etc. By this comparison there ain’t much of a difference. So why does anti-anxiety drugs get so much hate? Why does medical marijuana get so much hate? Its because of people who misuse them but quit throwing everyone under the bus because we’re not all the same. Everyone liked it when I was anxious and shy because they could f*** with me so when I told people I [...]
Continue reading...

I wrote a song to let my feelings out

  April 17th, 2019 by SuicideOverAgony

Demons-

 

(Verse1)
Sometimes I can’t find words to explain myself,
All these thoughts telling me to kill myself,
I don’t even know how to feel myself,
I don’t want to admit it but I need some help,
Therapy isn’t working I need self help,

My anxiety is crushing me,
I’m in pain man don’t you see,
Just shut the door and let me be,
Im gonna be ok I got ecstasy,
All my demons they envy me,
They won’t let me go they won’t let me free,
They won’t let me go they won’t let me free,

(Chorus)
I don’t wanna die
I don’t wanna die noo
I [...]
Continue reading...

  April 16th, 2019 by IrrationalLion

I went counseling for the first time. I thought this was going to give me hope and at first it did, it felt like I was taking a step in the right direction. except I can’t tell them how I really feel. They have policies and if they think I could leave and kill myself then they would have to do something about it. If I was to be completely honest with my counselor, I would probably be hospitalized because the idea of ending myself is something I think of every day. When I told her I had been depressed since age 13 and had [...]
Continue reading...

Stuck

  April 16th, 2019 by thehusk

I don’t know how to deal with all the conflicting stuff that goes through my head. So many competing contradictory priorities and impulses, all seeming vitally important in some way. I don’t know which direction to go. People always say ‘listen to your heart’. But my ‘heart’ tells me very different things from moment to moment, and I suspect it may not be a reliable guide.

Much of the time I think it would be for the best to end it, as quickly and painlessly as possible. End any chance of greater suffering. But then that would negate all my other conflicting impulses. And I have [...]
Continue reading...