Actually…… everyone just. Beware of breadcrumming…/
~ It feels so nice to be validated / to be stabbed in the back by a dear friend/
telling you one thing with a birthday gift – catfishing people trying to cause conflict/ inciting violence against you behind your back and right after the hangout.
And keeping tabs by being nice.

It’s something when you’ve known them for a few years.

I guess I wasted my time these past 10 months.

Tomorrow is my 16th birthday but I just want to die, I wish I was never born. I feel like such a failure, I don’t have any friends and I’m failing school. I heard my parents arguing about me earlier, I know I’m a disappointment and my dad constantly reminds me . I don’t want to celebrate life tomorrow I want to end it. I’m so afraid of what will happen when I die but I can’t stand existing any longer.

I can’t get used to this loneliness and sadness
I’m afraid of other people too

It has been a while since my last post. I always seem to come back though. I have always used posting here as a way to let the sadness out and put it somewhere. I have carried my pain and sadness with shame for years like it doesn’t belong here and it’s embarrassing. I want to push it away somewhere and not think about it for a while. If I have a panic attack, the tears don’t stop and the emotions I have pushed down come exploding out. Yet, I do not want anyone to see me like this. I do not want to tell […]

I’ve been around the site for a long time now, but never really posted anything… Guess I never thought the point of it. (Reaching out) or sharing my feelings hasn’t been a strong suit being an introvert and all but right now I’m on the verge again… I’ve been struggling since a long time, first with autoimmune diseases and how I coped with it just so I can keep working since 4 years by abusing benzo’s .. trying to quit and ween off slowly now, but it’s hell. I haven’t been to work in a week(I hate it) plus the withdrawals are bad… I skip […]

I’m just so tired. I don’t see a point to this anymore. I just can’t do it. I just can’t do this anymore. I hate my job, I hate the people in my life, I see no point whatsoever to continue. I have no future. I’m just so tired and I want it to be over already.

Ohhey.
A guy I dated for 5 years was married almost a year ago. God, I haven’t seen or talked to him since breaking it off in January 2017. We hardly saw each other. but God, I hated it. Happy those days are gone, it felt so flat. I felt nothing, and normalized the mixed feelings, idk. can’t explain it. since my senior year. He always had a chip on his shoulder. He was an emotional girl. I remember that thing he’d do when he became offended, I can’t explain it… Almost like, “Hm, well those are knock off toms, so…” except he’d find something […]

i dont recognize anyone on this site anymore.

it never gets better

I feel so lonely. Are you lonely too?

So sad, so lonely, emptiness, consciousness

i am so afraid of death not really whats after it but the process of it and kinda whats after but my brain is just terrified of dying i think about it every fucking day and i wish i didnt. the funny part is that its the one thing in this world i deserve and i know it, i regret alot of things ive done and i know i deserve to die because of it. im so fucking paranoid all the time i cant remember the last time i havent felt like shit and everyone tells me its in my head and that this feeling […]

https://www.insecam.org/en/view/506409/

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A few years ago, I was fueling at a gas station and a man with bloodshot eyes opened my car door and said, “I love you, please, I love you so much,” trying to get in the car… :I  I was nice enough, I guess.. when he stepped back, I closed the door and drove away. There were plenty of people there… Never saw him again.
Wondering which drug could cause someone to do that, clearly out of his mind…

I was stalked a few years before that by an acquaintance I only knew for a month or so… I met her at my friend’s […]

Yep. That’s it. I want to die.

Sometimes it feels like I’m possessed, I have violent urges to kill myself and it’s like I’m fighting my mind to not act on it, like I’m having a fight body vs mind vs another area in my mind. Like I’m somehow restraining myself from acting on anything to the point my body vibrates as if it’s actually being restrained.
I’m so lost, I feel hopeless but I have so much to live for and I know I’m excited for things and to see everyone around me to grow up- so why do I want to die? Why is my body fighting for death so […]

I’m curious to find out if people here are more depressed/suicidal now vs. before the COVID-19 pandemic. Most people’s lives are significantly worse now, for obvious reasons, but there are some exceptions with me being one of them (well, sort of).

Although I’m still depressed most of the time, my mental health is actually a little better now despite restrictions on travel and live events negatively affecting my quality of life. Aside from that, my life outside of work is no different than before since I don’t have any friends to hang out with and have no hope of ever attracting a woman. Working from home […]

9 shots in 3-4hrs can kill me? i wonder what 10 in 1hr could do?

“a woman weighing 120 pounds is likely to develop alcohol poisoning after consuming nine shots of hard liquor in 3-4hrs”

knock ’em back……..

The thing is, I don’t know how to tolerate feeling like this. The sheer fucking loneliness of it. The self-hatred. The shame. The despair. The regret.

I keep telling myself in my mind ‘you’ve got to find some way to cope with this.’ But I have no clue. My mind is constantly tearing itself apart, looking for a solution. But there is no solution. I have irretrievably fucked my life up. There’s no removing this stain. No making it right. No way to make myself acceptable to others. So I will always be alone.

I don’t know how to accept that reality. How to live with it. […]

https://www.insecam.org/en/view/852893/

http://81.161.232.67:8080/view/viewer_index.shtml?id=246

https://www.insecam.org/en/view/845054/

Favorite ^

https://www.insecam.org/en/view/843222/

https://www.insecam.org/en/view/813916/

https://www.insecam.org/en/view/810401/

NY, I think. ^

https://www.insecam.org/en/view/799747/

wtf is that ^

https://www.insecam.org/en/view/467780/

Vancouver ^