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1

Yesterday

  February 15th, 2019 by nonexistingsoul

Yesterday I was feeling really good. Like I was born again. It’s Valentine’s Day and I decided to give chocolates to people that I’m totally grateful of. I gave all of them chocolate candies and I gave someone a chocolate bar. I discovered that that someone was not feeling really good these days and that chocolate bar was the only time he felt happy. I wish his suffering won’t last long. I don’t want him to be eaten up by depression. It’s so hard if it became part of your system. I don’t mind staying like this as long as the people I cherish won’t

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0

Wish for all

  February 15th, 2019 by nonexistingsoul

I hope all of you are happy and fine today… me as well. We want it so bad

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4

Love Yourself

  February 15th, 2019 by vwbeatles

Alone on Valentine’s Day again, as it has been my whole life. I wish I knew how to love myself, but it’s so hard. Most of the reason I feel suicidal is because I feel unloved. I know it’s just a feeling, an illusion. I have people all around me. But I can only focus on the ones who abandon and ignore me. It’s so much easier to feel pain than gratitude. I don’t think I’ll ever be happy.

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2

  February 14th, 2019 by Lostlullaby

Stress slowly kills me, it is eating me up. I had a dream : studying in Germany but it became a nightmare. Everyone but me has its registering forms for the school  I still don’t know whether I’ve bee’ accepted after 3 months of intensive paperwork  and I am supposed to be there in 2 weeks. I am already moving out of my appartement with no plan B if I am not accepted in my school I am basically homeless and I missed about 20 hours of the semester already.

Guess it is a sign that I should not have dreams or ambition, that I am …

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12

A little bit of love on Valentines Day

  February 14th, 2019 by ultraviolet

Hello,

it’s UV here and today I know a lot of us are lonely. Including myself. I want everyone on SP to know that despite our heartache, our desires to end it all at once, our thoughts of worthlessness, you are all lovely. I actually hate V-Day because what the hell? Who came up with a special day to make someone feel special for just a day when it should be this special everyday. I think it’s a day where we feel our most lonely. I’m enthralled at how so many people relate to a lot of what I go through. And I’m so appreciative to …

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2

C.

  February 14th, 2019 by princessmousy<:3)~

My dear C…
I’m really trying to stay afloat. I’m so thankful that you are there for me when I want you to be 🙂 I’m so appreciative of everything that you do for me. I’ve told you what I wanted to do with my life in the near future. I know that you never wanted me to die, I can’t even mention it to you… because I know it makes you angry, I know you want me to live, I know thats because you believe in me and think that I can do great things. Well… sadly, life is extremely difficult. People are so harsh. …

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3

Half the day off

  February 14th, 2019 by immerspat

None of it spent with me. The only person left in my life left, and she chooses to spend it with everyone else but me basically. I’m such worthless shit.

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3

not working

  February 14th, 2019 by princessmousy<:3)~

This private rental stuff isn’t working out. Today I should give back the keys. This guy is such a prick. I paid him bond yesterday and now he’s asking for more money for things such as ‘furniture’. I don’t see any good coming out of this. I’m going to get my money back from this guy. Fucking scumbag. I’m fucking tired of humans. I should seriously plan my death soon. I can’t take the bullshit of real life anymore… Now i’ve got to try and find someone who is honest ffs. I absolutely fucking hate my life.

I might as well become a sociopath… everyone …

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6

Oxazepm

  February 14th, 2019 by Hoody

I used to took them when i was having regular panic attacks. Really miss how it feels. I usually took them before bed and when the dose was strong enough, i got this unbelievable peaceful feeling. I miss it so much. Without it i feel like somebody has stashed some ice under my heart and i will soon suffocate from the coldness.

Gonna try to persuade the doctor to prescribe me some next time i go to do my drug shopping.

I am torned between longing life and loathing it, most of the time i accept the idea that someday i am gonna commit suicide,

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1

All I Needed To Know

  February 14th, 2019 by Yikrens

unbelievable

 

i spend 2 years following an dangerous free time habit just to come over that I am keen on making the last moment of life instead pure suicide.

Suicide. That came over my tongue many times since I’ve been 17. what are 6 years.

My situation is the same. Nothing really changed but I’m assured to be in jail. Being fooled over an stolen bike. Running after an attack of medicine.

That about medicine, I wouldn’t had done it under normal circumstances. I needed that experience. It once caused me to have an trauma.

Will I hit the ground on my feet or will it make me die without …

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8

Dream

  February 14th, 2019 by PatheticMale

I had a dream where I was in class and for some reason this girl just came to me and stroked my face randomly out of nowhere. It was such a beautiful feeling and then I just woke up. I wonder if it feels this nice irl too. The sad thing is I know this girl from the dream. I think she even liked me but I havent managed to do or tell her anything about it in 7 years and now its gone… I dont even wanna think about all the other opportunities that I wasted in life.  I am just sad. Sad coz …

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9

Someone is trying to help

  February 13th, 2019 by ultraviolet

There is this girl who I graduated with and she has always been persistent in attempting to get close to me. I, naturally push her away, because I mean I’ve been like that my entire life even when I was a 5 year old little girl. She basically sensed I was depressed and she is depressed herself and today her mindset was totally different than any other time I ever talked to her. I want to tell her to fuck off but some of the things she says about how in order to be happy we have to give more of ourselves to the world…. …

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3

Yuck

  February 13th, 2019 by princessmousy<:3)~

I have a hunch that this private rental isn’t going to work out. I need to go through some things with the owner. Maybe we are being taken advantage of, I don’t know. Humans make me sick…

In the meantime I’ll just whore myself to my ex (was my idea, not his). I also brought up the topic of sex and the like initially… while he whores himself back to me. So mmmmmm 😉 nice to get joy in my stupid life even in this f**ked up way.

Meh sorry for having no morals. And sorry mum… why are people so horrible… humans make me sick… they …

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1

it was over from the beginning

  February 13th, 2019 by some kid

Whenever I get too depressed I like to crash here. To read everyone else’s posts and write my own. But now I feel I’ve become to comfortable, and feel the need to leave because I feel a sense of belonging. Similar to how in real life I don’t like to talk to anyone because I know they’re better than me. My life is a joke compared to them. I cant even take my life seriously anymore, I don’t even know whether to laugh or to cry. There’s no longer any standards that I can hold myself up to, I’ve fallen off the map. Its better …

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1

Wondering

  February 13th, 2019 by lissbabe

Sometimes its hard to be stuck in your mind, whether its being in a crowd full of people or even in an empty room your always going to be stuck with your own thoughts. I sometimes wonder whether what this life has to hold for me.
Ive wrote on here before saying that my depression has gone but sometimes i can just sit down for five minutes and all those depressive thoughts coming smashing through, making me wonder what it would feel like to do one more cut, one more line, one last time of feeling free.
I think thats why i like the senstion of …

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8

I’m finally committing

  February 13th, 2019 by Cause of Death: Suicide

Finially, as I am sure that life is more trouble than it was ever worth

I thought I would leave this here
It is nothing too special, at all, but it is all I have.
I was trying to record an album but I could never get the devil off my back,
so all I have is this poetry and a guitar I can’t pick up.
I already sold my keyboard and my record collection.

The Fleshy Bones

An Album For Kids That Live On The Moon (Copyright)

TRACK 01
THE DARK SIDE OF THE EARTH

Without further A-doobie
Beyond a shadow of an ounce
And with that I rest my bong
Poking Smot; Binking Dringe
Everybody can do drugs
But not everyone can be drugs
Are You Ready, Freddy?

And then there was light
..And then there was sound
..And then there was color
..And then there was Ocean
..And then there was Mountain
..And then there was The Sun
..And then there was The Moon
..And then there was The Solar System
..And then there was The Father
..And then there was The Son
..And then there was The Holy Ghost
..And then there was Arithmetic
..And then there was Science
..And then there was Love
..And then there was War

Death before Dishonor
A Captain Lost at Sea in Solitude

TRACK 02
INTREPID TRAVELLER

Every day I wake up feeling like Great Britain
A stranger strolling the villas of Notre Dame Kingdom.
I’ve wandered the plotted grid of your mind
Like I’m trekking the Sierra Nevada
Ascended the Himalayas
Then I approached The Pier
Dived into your Aquatics
Sailed Olympic lengths
Through your Black Seas
And Gibraltar Straights
Climbed your Eiffel Tower
And sky-dived down
Set up camp –
Lived only on your twigs & berries
Slept wrapped in my sleeping bag
Beside your creeks
If only to wake up to your songbird tweet

My life in the grooves and tombs of your hands
A cryptic stare
A bedeviled glare

TRACK 03
PLEURS DE JOIE

“But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?”

A slow dance. A biblical romance.
Slipping, sliding through the shadows
When you think no one is watching
The spirit is moving you
A silly game. A broken toy.
A starry night you perch on your tower
Connecting the dots – All the stars that shower
Shooting towards each other
Like a game of tag

In graceful haste, I strike a cord
When the world has come to none,
There will only be but one, Juliet.

Bubble-gum lips and cotton-candy eyes
A home cooked meal and her voice a harp strumming goodnight
Light cast all around her on Summer Days
A clear-skied Crepuscular Ray
Melting at her feet, there is me.
First Come, First Serve

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0

Fuck this world.

  February 13th, 2019 by NO_REMORSE

And fuck the people who claw and scratch me upon my descent to hell.

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6

Weed and sleeping pill

  February 13th, 2019 by WITHINtheShadows

I’m considering take one sleeping pill and also smoke weed tonight. I really need to unplug and sleep many hours…

Would it be dangerous? Or just relaxing?

Today my electricity was cut bc I forgot to pay one bill from last year. My depression is becoming out of control…I really didnt remember this bill wasnt paid. Then I paid it at lunchtime and after 10hours the company reconnected the service. But I spent the day thinking bc I had no internet or tv or radio or mobile battery and it was hard. I’m a mess!

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Historical marker to myself

  February 13th, 2019 by Salt

The point of sharing anything publicly is to communicate with others, so if this resonates with anyone out there, then it has served its purpose. If not, it’s just a message to myself if I’m alive to read it.

Everyone’s life is a story; there’s no denying that. Now, whether it’s an epic tale of adventure, a brooding philosophical excursion, a Greek tragedy, scifi, vampire tale or romance novel, that’s all irrelevant. When it comes to great literature, we don’t require any specific genre, and–this is the important part–we don’t require a happy ending vs. a sad ending.

All that matters is that it’s well written, authentic …

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0

I’d rather not care than to be aware

  February 13th, 2019 by thehusk

This has been lodged in my brain lately. Seems pretty clichéd, and it’s not like I can even really relate to having ‘loved and lost’. I guess I’m just wishing I didn’t feel anything anymore – my mind is a constant generator of pain. To be able to completely forget, even for just a day…I think I’d pay a lot for that.

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