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3

Cutting, My Slippery Slope.

  December 10th, 2018 by NO_REMORSE

5 days ago i put the blade to my arm for the first time in my life. I was reading posts on SP, listening to music going through a depressive episode. My mind just said fuck it, wonder what its like cutting yourself. So i went ahead and did, with a razor blade. Make a few little cuts, got a rush, than overreacted and scared the shit out of my girlfriend. Made a post about it on SP, got a lot of advice and wisdom, but i was never the type to listen to anyone but myself anyway haha.

Fast forward 5 days and i have.. …

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1

Fading Away

  December 10th, 2018 by Teresa's Child

Evil. Everything I see is evil, inside and out. I won a great victory over my own demons today, but I feel no exhilaration. No sense of accomplishment. I do feel a little less twisted and torn up, which is nice, but mainly I just feel tired.

Thoughts and memories fly around in my empty, tired head. Thoughts of people I met, libraries I visited, librarians that taught me things, girls I loved, things I wanted. But it all flies in and out of my head, meaningless. I feel unreal, like the world has almost completely faded away from me. It’s a struggle right now to …

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3

Anyone had a suicide related NDE?

  December 10th, 2018 by Martin1987

If anyone had a suicide-attempt related NDE (Near death experience) please be kind and share it with us?

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4

Babble

  December 10th, 2018 by Mouse

Too many people pretend to care. If you care about someone and don’t hear from them for a while e.g 2 months, but you don’t try to contact them, its unlikely that you truly care. Then again, there’s people who ‘care’ for their own benefit who might contact you again somewhere down the line…
Ps. I am not claiming that I care.

RE a certain royal, I don’t like daily mail but I still read it… also no idea if any of this about her is actually true, anyway, society is infested with social climbers and users! Its definetly not only her (if its true)

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2

Won’t find that

  December 10th, 2018 by Mouse

Stop looking for meaning… stop stop stop stop, that’s over.

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3

  December 10th, 2018 by Tellmewhy

I don’t know why should l keep living

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2

Dead Man Walking

  December 10th, 2018 by depressedfather

I’m what you would call a “high functioning” suicidal person. I’m able to force myself out of bed, get cleaned up, do just enough at work to not get fired, and make it home to my family at the end of the day.

I can feel the end of all this approaching soon. My family cannot see it, as I’m pretty good at hiding my feelings. But I know everything is about to fall apart.

Every day it’s harder and harder for me to perform at work. All I can think about is how much I just want to stop existing. Any day now word will come …

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2

Solitary

  December 10th, 2018 by morado123

I hate freedom.

I’d rather be trapped in a busy cycle

so as not to left alone, wishing for human connections.

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12

Do you feel it too?

  December 10th, 2018 by wearehannahbaker

That somehow the day will come and you will eventually do it.

It doesn’t matter if you’re having a good couple of days or months. Or even years. It always comes back: the urge of ripping your skin out.

Of wanting to cut your wrist and just bleed yourself to death.

Of finally opening up that bottle of Vodka and mix it with all the benzos you’ve been storing.

It will come for all of us. Someday.

We will never be fine until we’re not here anymore.

 

That’s our fate and I crave for it more than anything else.

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3

So lost

  December 10th, 2018 by fading-light

Ive been battling with depression and shit for a long time. Recently I started becoming really close with a friend of mine. Like. Too close. All I want is his attention these days cause it’s the only thing that makes me remotely happy. It’s not fair to him. And I don’t want to have feelings for this dude but I do. I’ve been struggling to keep from throwing myself over a cliff for his sake really. I don’t want to hurt him, but I don’t know if I can take anymore of this life.

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4

Walking corpse

  December 10th, 2018 by Black Holez

My routine is basically sleep, wake up, stare at walls and in front of the computer screen all day, play video games then fetching my girlfriend when her class is finished. And that’s the only time I ever go out of the house is when fetching my gf. I’m basically a living corpse. I don’t know how much of this I can tolerate. It’s like I’m a part-time hikikomori or something.

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0

exultant

  December 10th, 2018 by ebullientballoon

for better or worse this site is my personal journal.  tonight, at least in this moment, i am exultant.  i mean earlier i restricted until i was shakey then binge ate. but very soon after a friend came over and…there’s nothing better in my mind than giving pleasure to another woman.  it’s just the best.  connecting with a brilliant beautiful someone and making her make, those noises.  my third cigarette is almost done. time to drink some water, pause the music, and lay down next to her.

in the morning, when she leaves, it’ll all come back.  the bullshit, the dilapidation and ennui. but tonight, jubilation, …

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5

Freaking out

  December 10th, 2018 by Black Holez

I don’t know why but I seem to want to have any conversation with anybody. It’s too bad I have no friends now. I need help. Anyone. God. Save me.

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14

I need help

  December 9th, 2018 by BabyBlu

I don’t know what to do… I’m being assaulted from all sides… my safe haven is causing me to have panic attacks… I can’t look at myself in the mirror without a shirt on… I was nearly forced to come out to my parents by someone… I’m afraid for a friend who just blocked me in every way that I can communicate with her… I’m freaking out right now… this feels like a cry for attention, but I don’t know how else to voice it… please, I just need someone to talk to… ANYONE…

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1

it´s been a while

  December 9th, 2018 by plasticflower

i haven´t been here for over a year, and i really need to empty my brain, so here´s a bit of the mess that´s going on in my head

 

i tried to hide it more, so they wouldn´t notice. I guess I got too good at hiding it because now she thinks i´m doing so much better. And maybe I am, but it  doesn´t really feel like it. I feel like soon i´ll break; and I don´t know if I can or want to stop it. Today she said, “I think you´re doing much better now. Do you still think you need to see a therapist?”. …

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Protected: Just Saying Goodbye

  December 9th, 2018 by jocelyn._.martinez

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

5

Dissociation?

  December 9th, 2018 by ebullientballoon

sometimes things don’t feel real.  like a movie.  Am I a human or am I a sloth?

I suppose i prefer this, numb and humdrum to the chaos.  I’m sure i’ll switch back soon.  My girlfriend was here and she’s lovely.  I love her and I worry about her.  I worry about the hurt I’ll cause her.

my movie is in its third act.  As time goes by I try to gather my courage.  I wait for the right time.

I’m going to be getting some money, an inheritance type thing.  Not like an exorbitant amount mind you.  But once I do, I can give it to my …

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3

Comatose

  December 9th, 2018 by NO_REMORSE

I’m comatose I’m comatose i still feel out my soul alive for pain

My mind is so fucked up i killed my hope for real im trapped alone inside my brain

I won’t change i’ll go away i’ve had enough of …

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0

  December 9th, 2018 by samesh1tdifferentday

When you’re standing on the edge, so young and hopeless
Got demons in your head, we are, we are

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0

Nothing!

  December 9th, 2018 by Mouse

Gladly I’ll be dead in a few months (hopefully) so I won’t have to think about my ex and his new date (although she is now his girlfriend) anymore. That’s all I ever think about. Even though I take care of my appearance, dress nicely, earn more money than what I used to. Not much point in saving $ if you are gonna die is it? Yet I do 😛

I sit outside and drink some coffee while I hold onto brown fur mousy… idk what I’m doing outside at this time (10:20pm).

I want him but can’t have him, he cares about me which I …

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