crying out

March 21st, 2009by Mari

I’ve never been the type to ask for help. I am a very independent person, who likes to do everything on my own.

I cry out for help in my own way. But no one is lisenting. My brother usualy hears the crys but he’s been working a lot lately. My mom just seems to ignore them. She just seems to care more about her friends then her own daughter.

I know she can’t be stupid. I’m falling back into my same ruotine. I never eat. And when I do I get sick right after. I sleep A LOT. I don’t only sleep cuz I’m coming down from some drug I sleep cuz it’s the only way I can get away from my worries. Even then it doesn’t always work.

There’s a lot behind why I feel like this. But I really don’t want to get into it. I just hate how when one thing brings me down everything else just seems to fall right back on me.

I keep thinking how I’m home alone i could over dose and no one would be here for hours to find me. Sometimes suicide sounds like the only thing, the only one who will lisentn, and I know suicide will always be there for me

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