Well, most people woud think that I’m stupid, so I dont think it would be a good idea to post my side of the story, because I even told my mom about it but she thinks that I’m crazy or something. Anyway, I been thinking of suicide for a while too. I felt that there was no use of living anymore when I become depressed because of my sins I’ve commited. Well, most of the times I feel that God doesn’t even care for me because of my past sins. I even tried to repent but still feel miserable and embarrassed. Therefore, I feel if I gone and leave Earth, I would feel better. I attend college, and I had this class called Psychology. I read a phrase in the text book saying “suicide is a permenant solution to a temporally problem”. I see it that way, and I was thinking about using that permanently solution. Like I said before, whenever I ask God to forgive me of my sins, I feel that he would not forgive me. I normally do stuff to make myself happy, like smoking and eating, but I know that those are “vain glory”, as quoted in the Bible. When I still become misery and condemned, I just ask mysel, “Since God doesn’t love me anymore, then why did he create me to begin with?” Therefore, I find that suicide is the best solution to end this, although I know that I would go to Hell. What is the use of going to Heaven when it seems that God no longer loves me?
Another thing, I understand that going to college would make me feel better, but with the lack of understanding and wondering why God doesn’t seem to love me anymore makes me wonder how am I in college when I should be happy but is still feeling wortheless?
6 comments
Sin is a tool for control. If you create parameters of sinfulness (sin) you also must inadvertantly create worthlessness. If you can make one feel worthless they then feel thay are at your mercy. The Bible outlines lots of sins. So I reckon the bible is a book of worthlessness. ( woah I am going to hell uhm ahh)
Sorry if that is not what you wanted (to hear) but I agree with overstayed.
+ it is not God who punish you for your sins – it is the medical condition called depression. Find over internet and you will be amazed how symptoms people with depression have are similar to yours.
Even when accounting that personal God exist in judeo-christian tradion he would not let you to suffer so much – what person with (unconditional) love would like his child to suffer (and he is indeed allmighty). Suffering and thinking of sin usually does not make one better and more often that is wished, it just breaks people.
Som take care about depression, find professional help and when you will be OK, you can start to solve your relationship to God, sin etc.
Wish you get better soon, Hugo
i have to let you know that you got it wrong…god sent his son jesus to die FOR YOUR SINS. God loves you just the way you are. talk to someone who knows scripture. Anyone who tells you God will not forgive you is lying or just wrong.
But Gary why should we have to ask God for forgiveness. God, by creating rules and defining sins, has created worthlessness. Why should anyone ask for forgiveness from the abuser , the creator of misery.
there is no “sin” other than not loving ourselves. god forgave you a long time ago, now it’s time to forgive yourself.
Just remember ” God sees us as we can be, but loves us as we are” God doesn’t want people to hurt he is the altimate parent, he allows us free will lets us fall and helps us up again. Never looking to punish just allowing us to grow. Take care remember you are a valued member of the universe a child of God.