The every day has become so petty. It is such a struggle to put up the front of being “okay” with the way things are when it all seems, and often is, so meaningless. It takes courage to walk away from a job and security without a backup plan. How do I look at myself and decide what I can do that makes me feel good…maybe a long forgotten chidhood dream can be pursued. It seems easy to be surrounded by selfish and weak people and hard to find people supportive and caring.Â
Suicide is not easy; Although many people say that it is.  It takes planning. It takes deep, deep pain. It takes a total loss of hope for tomorrow. There ia always the fear of not doing it right. What happens if it is not done right? Maybe scars, maybe living and then being compromised physically or even mentally after a failed attempt. It is not an easy way out. How do I find a place, a home, a job, a school or a hobbie that fills the empty space so that there is no more room for the enormous pain?” How do I live with the scars?
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2 comments
I feel,hear, and understand everything you wrote. Right now I feel the exact same way you do. That helps me know I’m not alone. Just hang on and suffer well. I want and hope this pain will end for us without suicide.
I can relate to what your saying, at some point I felt that way. Now I am a lot older and I can say I wished I had gotten help long before I did. I am 48 I no longer ask the question “What was the point or meaning to my life” It was daily that I thought about checking out.
ANYONE THAT COMMITS SUICIDE IS NOT IN THEIR RIGHT MIND
Depression can cause anyone to to feel hopeless and without hope you cannot have dreams. I never would have thought that I was depressed at such a young age but I think I was in a state of depression even as a teenager and some how got passed the suicide part . As time went on and life did get worse for I made some really bad choices and ended up in bad relationship that was the breaking point for me. I wanted out of this and it was to the point of my life or putting him out. I called the hotline and talked with a woman that night for 6 hours that was the first step to my healing!
I’m happy with who I am. I no longer try to make people around me happy for its not them that can make my life whole as I once thought. I make each day a good one… I respect life for what I have and not what I use to think it should be.
As for Scars we all have those. Those are what makes us stronger and helps us to move on, to help the next friend that thinks about suicide. I hope that if you’re feeling like your at that low point you reach out and take a hold of someones hand, because someone does care and wants to see you you’re not alone and you are also loved! They make meds for depression that will make you see life is worth living!