What Else Would You Do?

I wish i could help your circumstances , but over all just you . All of this hate is corrupting you , and i don’t mean to preach to you , because i obviously don’t know the shit they’ve put you through , but things are so much easier when you let them slide , i’ve learned the hard way , because I’m much like you , my feelings are raw and passionate , whether they be positive or negative , and it’s very hard for me to have a middle-ground in anything .

Probably the best thing for you is to disconnect , to try and better your life’s predicament . Your family , excuse me in this , sounds horrible . I don’t think I could live with people who just flat out hated me for shallow reasons such as “fat” “ugly” “annoying” “stupid” . I doubt you’re what you said , but then again we’re our worst judge .

I don’t want you to die ! Period , Point , Blank ! I just feel like you need a friend , you need to disconnect from your family and start your own social group , you need to find people who like you for you not because you’re a “size three blonde bombshell who gives every guy a blowjob ” stereotype of a girl . You have a lot to learn in life about things that truly matter , you’re focusing so much energy on the negative , no matter if it’s all that surrounds you . Everyone deserves their degree of happiness , and I just don’t feel like you will find that at home , which gives you more reason to disconnect .

If they don’t let you out anywhere , do it behind their back . Plain and simple . Sometimes you need to rebel against authority , because certain types of authority are cruel and meaningless . You need to live your own life , and stop associating yourself with the people who’ve done you wrong , because if you don’t you’ll forever be trapped in that vicious cycle of hate and you’ll become a prisoner .

I’m sorry to here you’re diabetic . My dad’s a type 1 diabetic , he’s always suffering from severe foot infections for any insignificant cuts on his toes or splinters , and he just recently had a retina surgery on his right eye to try to stop worsening of his eye vision , he’s almost considered legally blind . I feel bad for him , despite his attempt to ever participate in my life when he was healthier and up and running . But now that he’s practically disabled , he’s trying to regain a relationship with me , after 16 years . I guess it’s just not in me to hate him , since I hardly know him , but despite being awkward I guess it’s also not in me to really love him either . It’s almost the amount of empathy I could show a stranger , with the exception that I could actually grow to love a stranger , but I doubt me and my dad will be anything more than just “friends” .

I’m sorry I made the section of my own issues with my dad so long , but I just don’t want you to feel like you’re alone . Most people don’t have the picture perfect family . Some don’t even have a family at all . Some people are dead because of their families , or were victimized and abused . Your family sounds downright unloving and self-centered , probably to the point of mild neglect , but be grateful that it’s just that , even if being unloved is one of the most painful situations one could go through , believe me , I’ve been there . You have all the opportunities in the world to just start over , once you realize that they’re not the end of the road , that there’s a whole world out there besides you’re current life , just keep strong and keep busy for the time being , there’s nothing worse than to feel useless and do nothing about it , then you truly just become useless .

If you ever need a friend , you could always talk to me (: my aim is jessins94 .