It’s Not a Plea, it’s a Legacy.

It’s time.
I ran my fingertips over the grooves of the gun, letting them fall past the slide and wooden grip before they reached the hollow magazine slot. Tracing my fingers around the hollow space, I stare at the weak sheen gracefully arcing its way across the metal, reflected by a single lit bulb hanging from the ceiling of the basement. I set the gun on the floor with a dull hollow thud as it contacted the hard wood floor. I reached forward and picked up a single 9mm bullet, feeding it into the top of the magazine with a satisfying ‘click.’
I think of the controversy, the pain, the suffering…I picture it vanishing away, fading into the black. Forever.
I picked up the gun, curling my fingers around the smooth wooden grips.
Will anyone miss me? Will anyone mourn? Or will I simply become a statistic for yet another ignorant fool to critisize?
I slid the metal magazine into the gun, hearing the scraping of metal against metal until it reached the top with a ‘click’ that echoed off the cold unforgiving concrete walls.
I can’t change. I’ll never change. Misery follows happiness; I’ve now lost it. I’m never getting it back.
I pull the slide of the gun back, letting the bullet rise up into the chamber, then released the slide, setting the bullet.
Isn’t the purpose of life to attain happiness? If that purpose is now unattainable, what purpose could I possibly have in this world?
I raised the gun up to my temple, feeling the cool steel of the barrel on my skin. I cocked the gun.
This is how I’ll make a difference; this is how I’ll be remembered. This is my legacy.
I took a deep breath and looked around the room one last time. I took in the smell of the old wooden floorboards, the dripping of the sink, the wind howling through the cracked window sending gusts of cool air through my hair.
I close my eyes. I can feel my pulse against the barrel of the gun. A half smile escapes to my lips.

I pull the trigger.

I hear no crack of the gun, I feel no pain. All I see, all I hear, all that I know now…
The profound unending darkness.