It’s been raining hard for the past few nights and Its actually been Uplifting. It’s like I want to run outside & Scream to the top of my lungs, Until they Burst with all the Feelings Ive been having lately. Â Feelings OfÂ Entrapment, Rage and Hurt.Â I want to explode, I want to rupture sometimes U know?,Â Disappear… ….into Â wht? Nothingness… Disapper into…. Another Person? Another Life? Another Damn Family? i’m not sure. Â I’mÂ tried of being Treated Like a little Fucking Kid, When Clearly, I’m a Mature Young Adult. I Don’t want to be treated in such Â way ofÂ Disrespect, and Annoyance.
But It got me thinking….. Why am I still here? Not in a literal “Alive sense” but in a Why do I keep putting up with this shit? Â Why do I stick around in this “Home” where I feel Non-Wanted. I actually Want My OwnÂ everything, My own Home and things and theÂ responsiblyÂ that comes with it. I’m a college student, so of course, If I leave I’m stuck with no place to go. So, For now I must continue with this.
Trust me, I know I’m Loved, But I feel like people don’t understand me and never Will. People see me on the Outside, But they have no Idea, Not the slightest of who I really am on the inside, It’s ActuallyÂ Intriguing.