Only come across the site yesterday, so thought what the hell I will join.  I’m not sure I have story’s to compare to some of what I have read, or that I am at the depths of despair – yet.  Following a series of events over many years a about a month ago I “snapped” went on a drink and drug induced rampage of smashing things up not eating or sleeping for almost a week, my friend took me to the doctors now on anti depressants, the feeling to end my life is still there however I no longer feel consumed by it 24/7, however some nights it still seems the only way to escape this life that I have no interest in being a part of anymore.  I am not 100% sure why i have joined this site or what I expect to get from it, I guess talking to people of a similar mind set is something I want, I struggle to understand how I am feeling right now, I used to be a happy person with drive motivation and not to be shallow but I am a good looking guy, but after recent events I feel unable to face to world, have no interest in things I used to love.  The world outside the window seems to pass me by, I no longer feel apart of it, as if everything I see is not reality and my life and what I feel is all that is real.  As a result of recent events I feel unable to go to work, despite pressure for me to return, both from my employer and the financial implications of me not being at work, for 3 weeks now I have had no purpose, living with my friend as I am scared of just how far I will go if I am alone at night, to be honest the only thing that stops me from making the ultimate decision is the pain and suffering I would inflict on others through my actions, I have no regard for my own life at the moment and do not believe there is anything to live for, I do hope somehow along this road I will find myself again, I suppose the difference between a lot of you and me is that I have not always had these feelings I no from reading the posts some of you have all your lives I really do not understand how I feel or what to do I feel so lost, talking to others about this would be great if any of you have the time, and I have been told I am a good listener so always happy to talk to others about their problems if they wish
5 comments
Hi martie welcome to sp
Thank you 🙂 hope you are ok
Nah not really. Hbu? So how old are you, where you from?
suppose thats a daft question to ask on this site really! Well im here, for another day …. thats all i can say about it really woke up to the sun shinning put my sun glasses on to block out the nice day sat and wondered what the point is same as every other morning at the moment! I am 25 and from a place called Hartlepool in England. Yourself?
Im female 23 from Australia