Fuck my life. Fuck everything. What’s the point of living with no happiness. I care about nothing. I love nothing. The things that do make me happy are only temporary. Drumming. Music. Food. Yep. That about sums it up. Are those three things worth living for. I think not. So fuck it. Why don’t I just call it quits right now. Put the gun to my head and pull the fucking trigger. You think I wont do it. You think I wont go through with it. Try me. I fucking dare you. The only thing that’s stopping me is not having the gun. I guess that means ill have to get creative. You say im unhappy cuz I don’t have God in my life. What can God do. Why should he care about me. I don’t care about Him. Will God truly make me happy. You tell me to read my bible. But I don’t feel like it. You tell me to pray. But I don’t feel like it. You tell me to have a quite time. But I don’t feel like it. Why does God need me to do all that for Him. Or maybe he doesn’t need it. So why waste my time. How can God make me happy. Why the fuck am I so fucking depressed God. I’m so sick of this shit. I want to live a normal fucking life. I’m wasting my life being sad 99% of the time. Is it every going to stop. Fucking kill me know. I’m seriously not even afraid to die. What do I have to live for. Chasing a dream that is never going to happen. Failing out of college only to get bitched at by my dad. Where is my life headed. Nowheres. I want to move out but what is that going to solve. I’m still going to be depressed. The sadness follows me around everywhere. I can’t run from my problems. People ask me what’s wrong. They tell me to cheer up. Well fuck them. They have no idea how I feel. Leave me the fuck alone. I don’t want your help. I don’t want you to pray for me. Just worry about your own fucking life. And keep me the fuck out of it. Get me out of this life right now. I’d rather be died. God where are you. You say if I kill myself ill go to hell. But why the fuck should I care. This is hell. I’d rather burn in hell then be in this fucking world. Fuck it. I’m done. I’m giving up. My only question is how. How should I kill myself?
11 comments
11 comments
If you don’t care what we think, and don’t want us to try to help then why post here? I think the reason you post here is to let it all out. You want to be heard. But i can understand your pain. Everyone has almost the same pain just in different situations. God has nothing to do with what kind of life we end up with. Its the decisions our parents make or we make that make us end up where we are. And its sometimes other people’s faults or the stupid people around us. Some of us like you, who try to just live a normal peaceful life always seem to only get a little happiness then it suddenly goes away. Which is so unfair. All we can do is try out best to fight against this side of us that wants to cry and scream. This side of us was creating by us or was forced to be created by the life we currently have. This pain we have in our hearts is so unbearable that like you we try choosing death because we can’t take it anymore. But there is also a side in us that keeps yelling that it doesn’t want to die, that it wants to keeping living and wants to still have a little hope that maybe just maybe our dreams can come true. Not all of them, but at least the most tiniest ones. You say you care about nothing, but you do care about something. You care about it and want it. And your not getting it reason your always sad. Ask your self this, What exactly do you want in your life? Why do you want it? What’s stopping it from coming true? And what is worth fighting for? If all these you have already answered, and the people around you are not helping, you need to start thinking about yourself, endure this pain and try opening and making your own path. Your not alone. We all share almost the same pain as you. And we all want to listen to each other reason even tho we deny it, we come here and write down how we feel. If you don’t care, then its ok. We still do care. Because we all have one thing in common. We are trying to remove this pain and find that very reason to live.
“No matter how deep the darkness, a light shines within”
– Kingdom Hearts
That’s a bit harsh innit marc?maybe he/she is depressed or something.
Confused92.Do you think you are spoiled or ill or what.Have you seen someone about depression
Dear How.:
Don’t go just yet. You’re very young. Your life isn’t over. If you go now, you may miss happiness that is waiting for you later in life. You may miss the person you were supposed to love and the career you were supposed to have and maybe the children you were supposed to raise.
Call a hotline and ask to be referred to a therapist. Things go better when you have someone to talk to.
I messed up on some college too. But eventually I transferred to another school, and things went better. Start looking for another school to transfer to.
I had a lot of conflict with my parents — really bad conflict — got thrown out — when I was young, but years later things worked out. Some day you and your dad may be able to talk better with each other. Wait a few years.
Sorry that currently you’re having trouble connecting with God and the Bible. God feels very distant sometimes when you’re down. Try yelling at God — God can handle it.
Check back and let us know how you are doing — we’ve all been where you are. Your feelings of despair are very natural, but they won’t last forever. Depressions wear off eventually, but getting a therapist or counselor can help the depression end faster.
Confused, I understand how difficult life can be. I’ve been through a few bumps in the road myself, times when I just wished that life was over because I though things would never be happy.
It sounds like you’re really mad at God and really mad at people who try to say that God is the answer to all your problems. I’ll be the first to admit that having a relationship with God will not solve all your problems, it will not make life easy, and it won’t make you happy all the time. God never promised that He would take away all the bad stuff, in fact, he said just the opposite and promised us that life would be hard and full of persecution; however, when you accept Jesus into your life, He will always be with you and He will never leave you.
I’m not going to try to tell you what to do, because that would be pointless; however, I will ask you to please think about it and to consider giving God a chance. If you can look beyond all the sales pitches that television shows like to throw out about God making life wonderful, you can find a true and loving friend in your creator. No matter how you may feel about Him right now, God will always love you.
Look people, the last thing someone who is feeling like Confused wants to hear is someone elses story and problems when he is asking for ways to kill himself. He obviously isn’t going to care how bad someone elses life is especially when they rave on about it under his post. Seriously just give him the answer to his question, not your own life story. He don’t need that shit.
Right on Open Diary
They I want to do it is to inject myself with COBRA VENOM, I think you can purchase some online.
If I didn’t need to worry how my family would be influenced, I would either put a bullet in my head or hang myself.
You know if i had a gun id run straight to you wherever the hell you are…you are going thru exactly what i am right…idc abt love..fuck life…fuck everthing…fuck everyone…this is fuckin hell….theres no fuckin happiness…there might be some but you kno what it always goes away… “oooohhh he/she is fuckin happy you kno what lemme step in make it livin hell”…thats how shit is…sometimes i think..why the fuck was i born…why the fuck were ppl brought up in this world if god knew what was gona happen…theres no happy ending mate…i wanna die too…but i need a way to do…and i need it fast…i wanna disappear within a week..
Everything is perfect Right Here, Right Now. And Right Here Right Now is all there is. Forget about the past. It does not exist. Drop it. And stop worrying about how you’re going to get through tomorrow. Life is going on Right Here, Right Now — pay attention to that and all will be well.