I hate myself so much, I have done horrible things, and even though I never meant to hurt anyone it has. I feel so detached from this world and I just want everything to just disappear, I can’t get the motivation to kill myself because honestly I’m so afraid, but I don’t want to even exist anymore, I’ve been shutting myself out constantly, moving myself away because I feel like I don’t deserve to be loved in any discernible way.
I’m hopeless, I feel like everything has turned dark and it gets darker and darker every single god damn day. I started cutting again after a year of not doing it, and I’m going down the same path I was down already and even further, I just pray every night that I won’t wake up, that it would all just go away. The thoughts in my head never stop, I can’t sleep, I never have any energy, I feel absolutely detached from this world and I don’t know what to do anymore.