I’ve been waiting two years for things to just ‘get better’, as everyone else seems to think and say it will, But I’m tired of waiting. I’m going to make this happen for myself.
These little delusions and little voices will die with my depression, I’m not letting this become schitziophenia. I’m not.
I’m going to get over my fears, everytime I flinch, I’m going to fucking hit myself. Associate being afraid with physical pain, and also, maybe if I hit myself hard enough, it’ll take my mind away from the thoughts and memories. If the self beatings won’t work, I’ll resite the two times table in my head, 2, 4, 6, 8, blah blah blah. Again, to distract myself.
I’m going out by myself more often. I’m gonna force myself to realise that there’s nothing out there to be afraid of.
I’m going to act like me again, not this person I’ve become.
2 comments
I think I’m with you. I have now realised the only person that can get myself out of this mess is myself. How you gonna go about doing this?
It takes strenght and courage to stand up when you’re down, seems you still have it in yourself, never forget that. Before, in was in deep anxiety/despair phase and i couldn’t stop thinking for 24/7 (How will i end up? Am i a big burden for the ones close to me? Why the world is so violent?). I was stressed when i was outside in the world. I take meds and the non stop questioning stopped, i’m more in a “anger” phase now maybe a “healthy ” anger
Hang in here 😉