Well, as the title suggests this is my first post here. I guess I’ll start by saying a little bit about myself. I’m 17 years old and I live in England, kinda close to London. I’m just about to take my A levels, finish 6th form, and I’ve applied to start university in September, even though I probably won’t get in and I’m not even sure if I’ll still be here by then.
As for the reason I’m suicidal…I’m not completely sure. It’s not like anything bad has happened in my life to make me feel this way. I guess it’s just that I see myself as a failure. I can’t see myself getting anywhere in life. It seems pointless to even try. I’ll only end up living to be a disappointment to everyone who knows me. Since I can’t see myself having any kind of future, I might as well just end it now. This probably seems kind of vague since I’m not really sure how to explain myself without rambling on for pages and pages without making much sense. Any other posts I make here will probably be more detailed explainations of specific things that have been bothering me, but this was only supposed to be a short introduction.
It’s nice to meet you all and I hope I’ll get the chance to talk to some of you and maybe even make a few friends.
22 comments
Hey, i be your first friend here,
Wow, I wasn’t really expecting a response so quickly. Hey Nihilism, it’s nice to meet you ^^
Nice to meet you as well, my names brandon btw, yours
@Waste – welcome. This is a good place to talk about what’s bothering you. Most of the folks here probably have or have had many of the same feelings.
Oh, and you may not be able to see yourself getting anywhere in life right now, but the what I see, looks pretty successful. You heading to university and all. I never went.
@Nihilism – My name’s Nicola.
@FirstTimeSurvivor – Thanks for the welcome ^^
You have a point there, it looks pretty successful, but that’s the problem; it only LOOKS successful. In reality, I’m doing badly in school and I’m about to fail my exams so I probably won’t get in.
My names Nicola too, and I’m also 17 how strange! :’)
Hello Waste of Space. Ouch that’s a harsh username. Anyways, welcome to suicideproject where all the colorful people are!
And I’m from england haha
@Waste – when will you find out if you get in or not? At least wait til you know for sure that you won’t.
@Nicola – Wow, weird coincidence.
@Umbra_Artist – Well, I guess it is harsh but it pretty much sums up how I feel about myself. And thanks for the welcome!
@Nicola – Oh hi Nicola, you still here.
@FirstTimeSurvivor – I won’t find out for sure until I get my exam results back, which will be on the 18th August. I don’t really plan on doing anything for the moment, but I’m not sure that getting in would make any difference
I’ll call you Nicola. :3 Unless you want me to call you by your username.
@Waste – well getting in would mean that you are actually more successful than you think you are, right? 🙂
@Umbra – You can call me Nicola if you want ^^ …I have to wonder though, will it get confusing since there’s another Nicola here?
@FirstTimeSurvivor – That’s true I guess…but if I’m honest, I’m not sure if I even want to go. I’d probably drop out eventually.
@Waste – well, if you don’t want to go, that’s a whole ‘nother thing. Do you feel like not going would let someone down? would it be letting yourself down? doing things just because others think you should is a sure way to start feeling bad.
@FirstTimeSurvivor – You’re completely right. I feel like I’d be letting down my parents, my friends who encouraged me when I told them I didn’t think I could, and myself. Doing things because others think I should is probably a bad thing, but that’s the main reason that I do things for.
@Waste – you have to be honest with yourself and true to yourself. Doing things for others is of and by itself, generally a good thing. It is only when doing those things for others conflicts with yourself that it becomes an issue. Once you are honest enough w/ yourself to know what you truely want, then you need to take care of yourself before trying to take care of others. Also, once you know what you really want, you will have the confidence to do that regardless of what others may think or say
@FirstTimeSurvivor – That’s gonna be difficult…I don’t know what I want or who I am anymore. I should probably take some time to try and figure that out once exams are over. Thanks for the advice ^^
@Waste – hey, knowing ones self isn’t something you can just read the label 🙂 But it can be an interesting and fun experience. Believe me, the one person I have the most fun with is myself!
It’s kind of a life long process. It’s not easy, but if you can get to where you don’t let life and others dictate who and what you are, it will help.
and good luck at university 🙂
@FirstTimeSurvivor – I’m still not sure I’ll get there, but thanks ^^
sup waste of space, im 22, living jus north of London and funnily enough also had plans to go back to college. I won’t be on here for much longer but if you still want someone to talk to, just holler 🙂