Its hard to endure anymore disappointment, just want to sleep and never wake up but there are people who will suffer. Pain will be had by too many. Can not cope but how can I leave her. How selfish must I be to consider the end. The end for me is the answer but how can I make her suffer. She has a life to live hopes and dreams and keeping a brave face is too hard. Hard to pretend your happy when you don’t want to wake up. Its too difficult to stay but harder to ruin someone else.
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I know the feeling. I wish I could leave. Life is so worthless, but I’ve seen my mother cry and heard the fear in my roommate’s voice when I told them what I wanted to do. I can’t do that to everyone. It feels so selfish. But how is it so selfish to die when they so selfishly force us to live? Why must it only work one way?
I see the fear in my daughters eyes and the concern when she sees me crying all the time. Don’t want her to suffer like this but the tears won’t subside. Wish there was a cure. A drug, a piLl to make me feel as happy as those people u see on the street smiling or out with their friends having a good time. Where are those friends? Why do I never feel like smiling or laughing or singing anymore?