Not If But When

I killed myself when I was 16.  But was “saved,” and every day since then has been even worse than the first 16 years.  I’ve stuck around for others, for my parents, friends, lovers, children.  But I just can’t anymore.  Everything and everyone sucks.  I’m miserable all the time.  Any joy I have is short lived.  I fail at every single thing I have ever done.  I’ve let so many people down.  And the longer I stay, the more the pain piles on.  So I’m finally at my end.  I have a few loose ends to tie up, but I want to order that hood from GLADD (as soon as I know they are still shipping it) and just bow out.  Just like school, or certain jobs, or relationships are not for everyone, neither is living.  It’s definitely not for me.