Not like you believe me.

Trust…

Do we have that?
Do you trust me?
Do you BELIEVE me?

I cry and soon after realize that well.. It’s my fault.  My ex’s were right.  I am a screw up.  I deserve to be put in my place.  Every time they put their hands on me and left a mark to remember each time… I deserved it.  Every cut of mine is a memory.  Every scar of mine is another fucking memory.  I understand I’m not pretty.  I understand that my body is just… Horrific.  My mouth should be kept shut… My hands kept to myself.  I shouldn’t speak when you speak.  I shouldn’t cry when you hurt me.. Because to you it isn’t hurting me.  I shouldn’t beg for anyone to stop.  Because let’s face it… I deserve what I get.  I deserve everything I get.  Which is why I think you all will understand why I’m going to do it.. Because I deserve it.

Don’t remember the scars.
The bruises.
The hurt in my eyes.
Don’t remember my voice quivering from my crying.
Don’t remember my body being weak.
Just don’t remember me.
Don’t.