So Close By Accident

today i was almost gone, i fell asleep, not uncommon, it’s pretty much how i’ve been dealing the past, well month today but whos counting. However to block the light i keep putting something over my face, today i grabbed my dressing gown, i guess it let less air in than a pillow, because i could feel myself going, in my sleep, half awake, not sure, but it was that feeling you get, and normally i’d fight to get out from the covers, even though you feel heavy you fight, this time i tried to fight to stay under, but my bodies natural survival kicked in, but i was so close, and it made me realise, it’s what i want, there is no doubt in my mind, i’d be happier, so now i’ve had a couple drinks, (always makes me sleep heavier) and got my sleeping pills. i’m hoping this works, it would be better, in your sleep, im sure youd agree. but being so close, that close, i know its what im wanting. you have to see the good in death, its not a bad thing at all. and i got to watch the last episode of fringe, so im done now. and it really is totally, a good thing. and i have left enough, well as much as i can around, for people to try and understand too. video messages and letters and the like. im really ready, and totally no depression about it at all. i finally know, it truly is what i want.