what if tomorrow I woke up and I was loved … what if tomorrow I woke up and all this was just a terrible terrible nightmare …. what if my childhood was filled with toys and happiness, instead of bruises and fear …. what if I chose a husband who loved me, instead of one who fit my version of what life is … what if I had parents who weren’t addicts and who blame me for not taking care of them properly and who still still still are like a cancer in my life … What if …. Man, I would sleep for a week. Instead I spend my days wondering …. what if I don’t die when I jump … what if those pills don’t work …. what if I wake up a-friggin-gain.
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4 comments
Im sorry, Um can you make a new life for yourself and say the hell with those that oppress you. Im not good at giving advice this is the best i can offer.
Thank you Nihilism … A new life … I wonder what that would look like.
Who nos, its a better option than suicide.
What if, you understand that none of what you experienced was your fault and you do your best to focus on loving the parts of you that weren’t validated by your folks or you cause you were trying to simply survive and didn’t know any better at the time.
What if you realize that you deserved a fun filled childhood and get in touch with that little kid inside you that never had their needs fulfilled and started to talk to that person and give them a safe place. It’s hard I know…good luck.