Feel like your worthless?

How soon are you moving out and away from him? I am so terribly sorry that you have to endure this right now. Is this person your biological father or a step parent, or? Like you said, he is clearly ill mentally. And you are right, it is very hard to deal with. The things he says and does to you are absolutely terrible, and yes, would make a person feel awful, especially in your case when this person is your parent. You are most definitely going through a hard time in your life right now, being a teenager is no easy task. One thing to keep in mind, if you can is that your father is not only mentally unstable, but he is an addict. So you are dealing with a double whammy. I left my son’s father because he was an abusive/drug addicted jerk. It was the best thing I ever did for the both of us. I hope your mother can do what is right for the both of you regardless if it will harm his reputation or not. You both deserve the right to be happy and free of fear. The hard part about dealing with an addict (at least from my own personal experience) is that they aren’t assholes all the time. And when they are, we take it personally because it is extremely hard to separate their behavior from their person. With an addict, you have to understand that their behavior when they are under the influence is not them, it is their disease. And when sober, they most likely would not act in such a manner. (at least I hope not) your father clearly needs help for both of the conditions that you have mentioned. Have you or mother (as corny as this sounds) looked into Al-Anon or counseling for people who are living with/dealing with an addict? I say this not to preach at you, or tell you what to do, but I can honestly say I utilized this when I was going through my aforementioned abusive relationship and it REALLY helped me to understand more of the whys/hows of the addicts behavior. I cannot imagine having to deal with your own father treating you as you have described. But soon you will be away from him, and just a few years after that you will be able to live on your own and explore life and all the possibilities it has to offer. I really feel for you because I have been where you are. Maybe the situation was a bit different, but I can honestly say now that I am glad I survived it. I could have been dead more than once, and even tried to overdose myself once. Obviously it didn’t work. But it took all of that for me to realize that I was worth something, and I guess I felt that if I survived all of that, there is a reason I am still here. I never could of imagined in a million years all that life had to offer me after I found the strength to leave that horrible situation. I have had so many blessings come my way, my son being one of them. I hope I don’t sound to over the top with all of this. Stay strong and know that you are not the problem. He and his illness/addictions are. Once you and your mother are away from him, things will get better. If she chickens out and doesn’t leave him, you still have options. Clearly he is an unfit parent, what about calling social services and explaining your situation? They would at the very least have to do an investigation. I am also wondering what it is that keeps your mother there with him? How can she allow him to treat you like he does? I would of hit him over the head with a frying pan if he was treating my baby that way! She is supposed to protect you too. Again, I am so sorry you are going through this and I wish there was something more I could do to help. Just keep counting down the days till you and your mom get away! Things will get better!

No problem, I am glad I am able to be here for you. I will pray that your mother finds the strength she needs to do what is right for the both of you. Being a single mom isn’t an easy job, but it can be done. There is a lot of help available for single moms. I am glad that today things are going better for you. I hope there are more days like this in the future.