I can no longer do this.

Before I even start, I need to ask a question.  I need a way to make it look like an accident.  Just… Yeah.  Okay, now to an actual rant and stuff.

For the past, ehhh, 3 years, I guess, my life has been going downhill FAST.  I never really noticed it until now, probably because I was too young.  I’m 13, atm..  Which is pretty young.  I feel much older, though.  Probably more hardships than someone much, much older.  Anyway, time to start explaining.  This may or may not be long, as I have trouble typing long paragraphs and such.

I guess I’ll start with my family.  I was born into a family with just horrible parents.  They didn’t turn like that until later, though.  When I was younger, everything was pretty good with them.  They were kind, and even spoiled me a bit, which I didn’t mind at all.  But, later, after my little brother was born, they started to ignore me.  Of course, that’s normal with a new baby boy, but I didn’t know it yet at that age.  (I was only 3 back then.)  So, then life was normal, blah, blah, blah.  But, lately, as I said, they are now abusive.  My parents barely even notice me anymore.  They’re too busy favoriting my brother.  He always gets all sorts of stuff.  My parents bought him a 3DS one day because he was “bored”, even when I had been wanting one since when it was announced.  When they actually DO notice me, it’s either to yell at me, tell me how useless I am, how I never do anything right, etc.  I don’t understand what I did wrong to them…

Next up is my “friends”.  They always are treating me like a piece of crap.  Well, the ones that I know in real life, at least.  I actually can’t really think of many examples.  They really don’t seem to care about any of my problems, you expect me to devote a crapload of time to help them with theirs.  There’s more, but my brain is sorta flustered.  I guess.  But, I can’t just say they aren’t my friends.  They’re the only people who don’t treat me worse than a piece of crap.  Of course, I have internet friends, who are an awesome bunch of people.  None of them are as nice to me as one person was, though.  That friend even helped me through the first time I wannted to suicide.  (This the 3rd or 4th, and this time I’m VERY serious about it.  The others that friend convinced me not to.)  However, due to an illness I have, he faked him suiciding himself, and I recently found out he’s alive.  He’s also been talking to my closest friends while making them swear to lie to me that he was dead.  My close friends have been lying to me for the past two months.  All because this guy thought I was lying.

Now, I guess onto that sickness thing.  See, lately, I had hallucinations of this Creepypasta, called “Slender Man.”  I was convinced it was really, probably because I had recently found out about that thing was really freaking scared of it.  After a while of hallucinations, posts started going out on IMing stuff, such as Skype and Windows Live Messenger.  Creepy, cryptic stuff.  This stuff is what made my closest friend hate me, and made him think I “betrayed him.”  A friend and I came to the conclusion that these were all hallucinations, and that the cryptic stuff was probably sent by some alternate self of me, or something.  I also have insomnia, so I’m awake most of the night to have time to confirm my decision about this.

The last thing is school.  This may not be as much of a problem now, as it’s summertime, but I still hate that place, and hate it with all of my existence.  I had to go to the hospital once, because someone there pushed me down the stairs.  My parents said suck it up…  Honestly, I’d rather not go into detail with school, because, god I hate it.

Again, someone please suggest how to make it look like an accident.  And, I don’t want convincing to not do it.  It’s far too late for that.