So, yeah I was born to one of the most cruelest woman alive. I was adopted by another nasty woman. I do not know love nor was it ever extended to me. I made a serious mess of my life over the years, and I also turned into a cruel woman. However a year and a half ago I fell in love for the first time, well besides loving my kids, but anyways I fell in love with a man who loved me faults and all. Last July well my car was hit at 75 mph by a drunk driver, my fiance died, my 4 year old got traumatic brain damge, my 9 year old slipped into a major depression. Me I got messed up pretty bad but i did not care I popped pain killers to walk and function. But I got to know agony pretty well. I have decided once all my children reach 18 years of age I will commit sucide. I am working on a functional plan. I do not fit in anywhere in this world, for many hate me and many have expressed I am evil. But my kids adore me. I was also told I was suppose to be an abortion by my mother but she could not afford it. I was casted out so badly and used and abused so much I am now cold inside. But not to my kids, I am very loving and good to them. They are the only reason I am alive now. I do not get child supprt and get the bare ass minimum from SSD. I am disabled in pain daily. My life is hell. I figure this world is not for me and I just seem no matter how hard I try I get kicked down over and over again. I simply cannot keep getting up anymore. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I got nothing to live for once my kids are grown.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
4 comments
sorry,that’s a hard life :(.I don’t know what to add,but I hope your kids get to have some sort of happy life
As I read this I see you’ve been through a lot. But when I saw that you were gonna give up when your kids turned 18, I just shook my head. I’m not gonna force religion on to you, I’m not gonna trick you into thinking my life is worse and you should keep living yours, in fact all I’m gonna do is lay it out for you. Your life seems like it was hell and just when you see the light it was blown out so quickly like someone more powerful than you likes to see your misery. I see all the pain and hurt, but I can’t and won’t even try to say I know how you feel, because I don’t. But here’s what else I see, I see opportunity, I see a challenge. I see you’ve been given the role to prove how adaptable and how humans can survive the most demanding situations. I know the days tic by one by one but it starts with that one day where you put down the ink, blade, and pills and start to move forward. I not only see that, but that you have kids, kids that need guidance and the love of a mother. A love for a mother doesn’t stop at 18, and neither does them asking for help. I laid it out there, you can read it and cry and pout, you can get mad, and you could go find some scissors right now…or you can take what’s been given to you and move on. Good luck.
My name is Chelsii Rene’. Recently, I’ve been using my life story to help others out of the rut they feel they are eternally trapped in. If you would, please contact my by email (renewrrn13@hotmail.com). It’s always nice to have someone on your side, and I promise you will not be cast aside by me, and I am not one to judge.
Arnt your kids stil ganna nedd u even after there 18