All i want is to take a knife and gab it deep into mine hand. All i want is not to feel fear everyday. I want to see blackness as i fall into deep sleep….forever. I dont want to be another survivor. I dont want to be another complete fail. I want to be the person who i always wanted to be. No more needs…just wants. I want to be able to shout out my problems to the world… not on paper. Paper won’t talk back to you. Paper is used to write what you need to write when you need to write. All i want is to escape what i have. I want to cover my ears and walk away. No more talk. No more whispers. What i really want is to be dead.
11 comments
11 comments
You survived the suicide of your child?
o .o what?
I’m sorry I may have u confused w/ someone else.
In fact I did get confused. Sorry.
Is there something specific causing u to feel this way?
*shrubs* i really dont know whats causing me this…
Know what u mean
Even when my life’s going along well and I should feel fine I still feel like hell! :-/
ikr i feel really empty and i never feel good. I havent felt well in the past i think three four days :/
It’s so hard to shrug it off and keep pushing through. I use humor; laughing n joking on the outside, n twisted n crying on the inside. Unfortunately the crying keeps making it’s way out. One of my friends at work caught me starting to cry in my cubicle the other day. Must be an odd sight, but she just gave me a smile and didn’t make a big deal of it. Just what I needed at the moment.
no matter what i do i will always feel fear everywhere i go. Sometimes i just want to hide and never come out, but we all cant do that can we :c
No I guess not. I don’t know how much encouragement I can offer either; I spent the majority of the weekend hiding in my room. If anyone comes over I pretend to b asleep. I had to get up and out this morning due to work; at least I’m still functional. I’m just sitting here longing to go home and hit the bed.