I hate you as much as I love you. A lot.

Dude, please don’t look at me right now. I don’t want to hear what you have to say. Sure, I tell you everything that happens, but you always have to witness it here too. It’s not just me being the ass here. You see him right?

Boy– I fucking get it, I’m a complete *****. And don’t you fucking basically point the finger at my friend, she’s sitting RIGHT HERE. >_> I change around my friends, get over it, if you can’t handle it–  get the fuck out of this house. Oh wait, you live here and depend on my father even though you’re a 26 year old male dating a 17 year old girl. I try to make you seem like a fucking god when I talk to most people, but when I want to talk to someone about how much of an asshole you can be– don’t stop me. I have severe depression and I don’t see my therapist twice a month like I should… But only once a month-every 2 months.

Don’t EVER CALL ME AN INSECURE TEENAGER. IF YOU CAN’T HANDLE IT GO AWAY.

Sometimes I want to just punch you in the jaw– but I don’t. Telling me to calm down makes me want to do it more.

PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP.

I CAN’T FUCKING STAND YOU. YOU AND YOUR CONSTANT NAGGING ABOUT EVERYTHING.

“The room is too dirty. The dishes aren’t done. I did the dishes 8 times and your brothers haven’t yet. Your brother is a narcissistic ass. I do a lot for you, I make you food everyday and all you do it sit there.”

…That last one? I fucking hate you for. I sat in a hot car for you for 6 hours so you can your fucking pain meds from some guy we know only through and from my friend’s boyfriend’s best friend..

3 times.

The second time we had to fucking sneak my dad’s car out at 11pm to do so– and got NOTHING out of it! And then I poke my gums until I bleed on a gauze so you can punch your self in the face to swell and prove to an asshole pharmacist that you had “dental work” done recently so he allows you to get your meds that your dentist called in from an emergency line at fuckign 3 IN THE GODDAMNED MORNING.

Not to mention the first time it all happened I became extremely sick and vomited form not eating all day and you promised we’d never do it again… Then you force me to go two more times!

You’re 26 and have extreme back problems and we all know you’re partially addicted to your meds. You’re in more pain that you should be in because you are slightly addicted and you won’t admit to it, you get 10 and you run out in less than a week… You don’t have as strong of will power as you think you do. Sure, you normally take 3 10mg hydrocodones a day, and now you’re taking 2 7.5mgs but you act the same… And you still try to get more even though you have enough to last you until your next appointment which is in 5 days!!

I don’t want to get you anything for your birthday… The only time we go out anymore is if YOU want to. If I don’t want to but you do, it doesn’t matter, we go. If I want to and you don’t, we don’t. Period.

You should seriously go date someone else if you hate who I am that much. Someone who’s insecure to the point where they can’t argue with you or be themselves.

WHO KNOWS maybe I have multiple personality disorder! I mean, there’s people that can’t see me vulnerable because I’m their role model and if they’re around I have to change. I’m comfortable being vulnerable around you, don’t know why… It’s not like you help me when I’m slamming my head against the wall slowly trying to kill myself or cause a concussion so I never wake up when I pass out from crying too much… That lump on my head last time was at least swollen a centimeter high showing on forehead.

Point being, I hate you but I love you, If I didn’t you wouldn’t be living here. If I told my dad how much of jerk you really can be he’d kick your ass out in a second… If I didn’t I would have agree’d to him putting his name with yours on your your car title and put it on his insurance so he can take it if you didn’t pay him back when you got your settlement…

I’m taking two somas tonight. Not one, one doesn’t do anything anymore. I never knew I could forget everything around me by taking something until I met you.

I’m a *****, you’re an ass… Sometimes I’m not sometimes you’re not.

Just know you make me cry at least once a week…

I’m 17 years old and have been fighting everything, suffering, crying, being bullied, staying strong, and being depressed my whole life almost… Since I was only in 3rd grade… I knew there was something wrong with me. I shouldn’t have to deal with this.

“Can you hear me mother? Thanks for the disease!”

You say that you can’t handle stress anymore, and that you can’t handle mean people anymore, wll then maybe you should hide under a rock for the rest of your life… There will always be stress and mean people. No one is nice 24/7 and no one will just be nice to you because you don’t like mean people.

Does anyone in the real world ever give a shit? No.

Get your head out of the clouds, get back into reality… Not everything is about you, your back, your games, your dreamcast, your collections or anything about you.

Sometimes you tell me to leave you alone, one day I just will. Forever. If you want to be left alone so bad go away. No one want to hear your constant bitching about things that make no sense in your eyes of the wrong. You have no common sense. You’re the immature one.