Suicide seems like a good option

I have read a lot of posts on this site, most of them, without bwing offensive, seem to be worse off than me. It makes me feel petty and pathetic. But thats what depression does to you.
My family love me, I love them too. But both my grandmothers are deceased and my closest auntie works away. I feel lost without them. They are the only people I could talk to, about my feelings and problems.
I’ve never been in stable friendships, i figured I’m not good enough for anyone. I spent a whole school year on my own, sitting in toilets and round the back where nobody would find me. I’d sit in silence then go home and cut, it felt like I was releasing the pain of my lost loved ones and my lonliness..
I’ve tried to commit suicide before. Petty attempts because I cant face leaving my family after they have lost already..
I want to die, I’m no good for anyone.
But he makes me feel better. Rob. My bestfriend, I’m in love with him. He understands me, he loves me for my imperfections and my history. He loves me for me. I’ve never loved somebody like this. But I feel he doesn’t feel this back, though he says he does..I need him to prove it. He is my lifeline.
Somebody save me.