Hello again

  September 17th, 2011 by RedWine93

I haven´t written here for a long time. When found this site I was really messed up. I didn´t know what to do with my life. I still don´t know. I like to think that my depression doesn´t rule my life. That I can control it but sometimes I still fail. I have made peace with it. Atleast I hope so.
Tomorrow is my 18-th birthday. A few years back I was sure that my 17- th would be my last. Thankful it wasn´t. I lived to fight another year with my inner darkness. This year has thought me a lot. I fell in love. i think i did. Also I got my heart broken or was it my pride that got broken. I don´t really know. Still I am thankful for it. And the guy really has no idea what he lost. I discoverd that I can still live on, that I still love life. Even if sometimes I feel like I am drowning. That I have no power over my life. Sometimes I am just looking outside in. I see myself just walking, not realizing what is around me. I see that I am going with the flow. Like the rest of them. I love life and I am not giving up. It really is a struggle. I have lived longer then I could have ever dreamed of. So, that should count for something.

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