well i guess this will be half rant, half just general stuff, so here goes.
everyday i get up, and always want to roll back over. I dont want to face everything. life, people and i guess me. I cant really focus especially these days, i dont want to do anything except die really. Im so….different than everyone. Its not that i live a shit life. my parents are there as often as full time parents can be, so pretty often and care and such, i have many people who like me and want me around, im not the dumbest person around and so on. a fairly good life. but….. i dont have any interest in anything so far, maybe to do with lack of focus, possibly adhd, and i dont want people to like me. i want to be alone. i dont want my parents to be around, i dont want all sorts of people wanting to hang out and talk and such, and i dont want to exist. i think about the future and am maybe just to lazy to want to face it, i dont see the point, and i just enjoy (and i use that very loosely) being alone and not liked. i dont want people to like me, i dont want people to think im smart, i dont want them to care. i want to be the odd ball out, who no one talks too, the parents arent seen much and arent around and struggles to survive. i want to to live in pretty much bare minimum/squander and support myself by working while in school nonstop. im so different than everyone it drives me nuts. ….. i dont want love, i want hate, rejection, poverty, depression, and to be the lowest on the totem pole, practically right above third world country citizens.
4 comments
i dont feel like i belong here, whether here is my “status” , my geographic location or existance so on
You preety much said what I feel, so… I know what you’re feeling…
Just take one thing at a time. Talk to someone about the possible ADHD
The first I heard that someone wants depression. If there anything I would want most is to not be depressed ever again.