I don’t really know why I want to kill myself. I get told I have “the perfect life”. Riiight. My brothers bully me consitally. My mom makes me feel like dirt. my dad is hardly ever here, considering he’s always at his job and makes a lot of money.
I have every few friends. In the fifth grade I moved away from my home town. My class had 15 people in it. I was popular. Then I moved here. There’s 150 people in my 8th grade. 30 in my homeroom. In the 6th grade I had absolutely no friends. In the 7th I had 3. And now? I have 2 best friends and a bunch of other people I could consider friends. This not including my best friend of 8 years, Rachel.
I don’t know what happened. No idea.
Maybe it’s the guilt that’s makes me want to kill myself.
One of my beat friends, Brytni is depressed. Just like me. And its all my fault.
I don’t know.
I just want to be happy.
1 comment
That sounds a lot like what happened to me, when I was in elementary in 5th grade I knew everybody in my class but only had a couple friends but I really liked them used to play knock out with all of them then it was time to pick a Jr High and I choose the one because the teachers kept telling me its about the education…so I separated from my friends and wound up with none entering Jr. High sure some of the other elementary kids came to the same school but never really talked to me, I did make one friend while there, but sense I got bullied in gym got called a “condom face” I asked for a transfer my parents approved and so in the 8th grade went to a different Jr. High where I had no Friends again except this is where my old elementary friends where it was like they weren’t my friends anymore so alone yet again…that whole year was lonely then in 9th grade about half way though some kids were talking about Firecrackers and me knowing I had them at home I said “I have some” and then they wanted to purchase some from me and we kinda became friends that way…I was really quiet for multiple years and developed a new personality in high school but now that that’s all been over for a couple years now, I’m back to quiet except I have online friends that I have gone to visit but we are both depressed which makes it hard to come up with a topic to talk about…anyways…just want to let you know There are times when its really sad and depressing but there are times when it is pretty happy I guess, Its just I keep thinking is it even worth waiting for the happy times. I have my own issues :/ good luck to you. I’ll be available to chat if you want.