Should i wake up dead one day
Open my eyes and find my life had gone away
Should i witness this from afar
Or from where usually I sat looking out
My mouth firmly pressed into a discontented pout
Now from death left wide ajar
– If only
Should i wake up dead one day
Open my eyes and find my life had gone away
Should i witness this from afar
Or from where usually I sat looking out
My mouth firmly pressed into a discontented pout
Now from death left wide ajar
– If only
Hello all,
It has been over 7 months since I found a work mate dead. The effect has been huge on me & my family, I have felt almost compelled at times to follow. Anyone that feels like following PLEASE stop…..It will just go on and on. You are better than that no matter what you feel now! Please don’t let anyone find you.PLEASE PLEASE it will cause more pain to someone you may not even know than you know now.
Please !!! stop and think have a cold drink of water then a hot drink of coffee or Tea. Go for a brisk walk […]
I really don’t want to ruin anyones holiday, or uture holidays, yet the time is near and I can;t determine when. All I know is when the pain exceededs the will to bear it the ned will be at hand.
I have 2 methods, niether of which I want to use, a third didn’t materialize, can’t trust “Real” druggies to get what you wnat when you want it.
The wrecked lives I will leave, these lives are wrecked either way. If I stay, those lives are wrecked by many years of me being incarcerated, at my age I will probably die inside without ever seeing the free […]
I will never be good enough for anyone
And don’t even try to plant the idea of that I will
Because I won’t
i feel like i cant help no one not even myself, today me and my sister tried to go see my mom whose pretty far away well me and her are still young we can drive except we dont have a car and the thing that happened was that i cant help but think about what my sister has said many times over and over again….. im dont do anything to help her with struggles and stuff that has happened over the last summer, before summer started a week before school ended my mother was deported … i didnt feel sad or mad and i […]
I am just less than 15 hours away from a long awaited back surgery that will finally relive the pain in my leg that I have had since May. 39 minutes ago was supposed to be a different kind of surgery….A self administered death. But here I am thankful that it didn’t happen that way. I have learned that we are blessed with people in our lives and that sometimes we may think those blessings are curses. I see this is not the case anymore. Everything happens only to make us strong and smarter. I have been depressed for so, so […]
My dad is a hardcore alcoholic and I burly ever see my mom. I guess I should start from the beginning. I have an half brother from a different dad who is 18, a half sister who is 17, and a little brother who is 5. I am a 13 year old girl. Growing up in my house wasn’t easy. My dad used to sell drugs and when he did take them he would come home and beat my mother in front of me and my siblings. I remember one time he hit her so hard that she fell into a mirror and broke her […]
I hear what everyone says, don’t freak about it there’s been worse, your life is not that bad and I know. I’m well aware that my life isn’t as bad as most people. I’ve been lucky I guess. I got out easy. But from everyone telling me it’s not that bad no one stops to listen. I don’t mean to complain about these little things that have happened but I do need to vent so here goes; ver since birth, my mother has had a strong passionate dislike for me. Saying the word hate only pushes me closer to the edge so I’ll use dislike. […]
I have decided to return to God. I have decided to tell my family how I feel. God know, and I’ve told him already. My current life is in jeopardy, but I must atone and try to make the good choices. I guess I should be glad that it’s not so bad yet, but I am not. I want my family to know how I feel.
So. First off I hate life. I honestly see no point in me being in this world. Suicide is very tempting, but scary. My parents, honestly, dislike me. I want to get out of my house, might run-away, not sure yet. I just think I’m useless in this world… My friends always put me down in a joking matter, but it still affects me, even though I tell them to stop, they keep on. I’m 15, and yes I’m mature, I’m not being a ***** about life and crying over everything. I used to believe in God, but everything went down hill, so I lost […]
i was 15 going on 16 (this happen in October 2008) when i lost my great grandpa. i never met my grandparents, either set, so my mom’s grandparents were the only ones i ever met. my great grandpa died of cancer that October & i never knew until the day it happen. he never told me, no one did. and i understand why, i had been extremely close to him & it truly did break my heart when he died. i had been a freshman in h.s at the time & it had happen a week before my birthday. i don’t remember my freshman year […]
I’m not looking for attention or answers; just a place to write out my feelings and let them exist as long as some hard drive in some server somewhere is around. When that rusts, so will these thoughts. All of us are drops in an ocean of souls. We mix in with the rest. If some are lost, who will be there to remember them? Soon everyone we ever loved or who ever loved us will be gone and there will be no record of our existence. Headstones will crumble, earth will shift, decay and entropy will prevail. We are nothing.
In the last several years, […]
The one about i want to find a gun in the u.k. But that will never happen.
I am so tired of being the “problem child”. My mother just told me she thinks she “f***ed up” raising me and that she’s sorry. She thinks I don’t care but the truth is I don’t feel anymore because feeling hurts too much. Too many people have cut me down too often for me to willingly court the possibility again. So, no, I don’t like you, mother, insofar as I actually consider you. But your nagging is driving me to extremes and if it continues much longer, this will be the final semester of my life. Why is it so hard for people to understand […]
I know so many people who have it hard… way worse than me in many ways, some truly helpless to do anything about their own situations- and then there is me.  I have tried to make what I could better in my life- and the things I have had to accept I have done my best to do just that.  But, after trying so hard, for so long, trying new ways to get through, etc- it just goes from bad to worse despite my efforts. And, I have given up- the prospect of continuing to get older- alone and in pain all the time- just has no […]
I don’t know what to do anymore..I’m about to become Homeless and I’m scared to death..My cellphone has no minutes..I lost my job along with a bunch of others..have no one to turn to..sold my jewlry for money to get food..been dumpster diving for food..internet will be shut off soon..have to throw all my stuff in the dumpster cause i have no place or money to store in..I’m in debt with the landlord for 2 thousand dollars..Have no car..it’s cold outside..I’m a female and all alone..I have been on my knees in tears praying for a miracle from god to help me..But no answer..I have […]
Two more days, and then Thanksgiving. My husband and I declined an invitation to visit his dysfunctional family. It is an hour drive, all to stuff food and negative conversations into our stomachs and minds. With one economic and personal crisis after another closing in, our lives are in shambles. Even the gas prices to hit the road for an obligatory visit, are too much. Bringing something to drink, contributing food…it all adds up and we can’t afford the cost, emotionally or financially.  Also, this crowd eats as though every meal is their last. I savor each bite. They are clobbering the dessert before I […]
deleted all of my online recordings. gonna try rebuilding my character, glue my fractured mask back together. wish me luck
It’s so hard to get through the day
but on top of everything In my life everyone else still expects the same of me, and in some cases more.
My teachers expect homework no matter what on the day its due. When sometimes tell them I don’t have it , they mostly ask why… I almost want to break down and tell them everything. Tell them that I didn’t do my homework because I was drunk and I cut myself. They wouldn’t understand, so I just say I forgot to write it down
My coaches expect me to be able to keep up with all the physical work […]
It’s funny the things we can survive. There are things that literally seem like they could kill us, but here we are. It’s amazing the amount of pressure the human mind can take.
And sometimes the mind breaks. It can’t handle all the pressure to be perfect, the demand to conform.
I’m pretty. I have beautiful long dark chocolate brown hair and mysterious denim blue eyes that can take anyone’s breath away. I’m not obnoxious or timid; I catch you off guard with my sarcasm and wit.
I’m all of what society says I should be except for one thing- I’m fat. And I’m not talking […]
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