Sometimes I am happy and I think that my life will turn out well. I think that I am fortunate, blessed, special. I know that I am loved and appreciated. Sometimes this isn’t enough. An empty hope for my future? People who care about me in this messed up world? Why even live? Life seems pretty pointless anyways. Humans are all selfish..even those you trust the most will screw you over..and you will screw over your best friends too. And you judge them all. And you judge yourself. And you know you’re no better than any of the other people you judge so harshly, only you want to believe that you are. That makes it easier to sleep at night. And then you hate yourself as much as you hate them. And you want it to all be over so badly, because somewhere deep inside you know it will never get better. People will never change no matter what age you become. Ending it all seems to easy, so simple…but then you know what it would do to your family. You don’t want to cause them that kind of pain…then you would be an even more selfish person than you already are.