well i guess i should post a story of my life maybe itle help get this shit off my chest well my parents always fought and shit and it turned into abouse and shit because my dad was an alcoholic and hed end out beating the shit out of all of us and then nice as hell when he wasent drunk wel about 5th grade it hit a peak and my mom left him hooked up with some guy who beat me jsut because he had a bad day and mom found out and left him then dad came back and he was better (suposedly) then he had an accident and he got addicted to pain pills and the shit started again then one night the fought like hell police cmae and arrested him and i never saw him again then my grandparents start to fight for custody of me lose then one weekend when i was visiting my mothr attempted suicide so thye finally got custody as soon as they did they started to treat me like shit and my mother lost all contact with me so about a year later 8th grade a halloween to remember i was going to my uncles all weekend then i get phone clal that my dad overdosed and died that fucking scared me for life when the last thing i told the guy was i hated him what a fuck up i am so 8th and 9th grade was all suicide thoughts then in 10th i meet a girl date her for what seemed like forever aobut a month ago we broke up everything changed we always fought and shit it started after my mother abandoned me for the second time aparently i had no reaosn to be upset then she finally left me thats defistated mebut fuck it im 16 going on 17 i truely fucking hate life and all i think about is suicide i wake up and everything is jsut an unbearble thing i dont have any desire to do anyhting get up shower go to scohol anything ile go days without eating just because i feel no desire to idk nymore i have maybe 1 or 2 freidns and i semi think thye understand but hwo the fuck knows anymore i know that pepole on here have a lot worse ifes and problems but i figured id get this all off of my chest even if noone tkaes th time to read it i appreciate the ones who do
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Well you’ve had a shity life so far, no offence or anything but if you were happy with the girl even though that’s over now, it means you are still able to be happy and love, even if you feel as if you never will love again you need to give yourself a chance to have a fresh start. You should only kill yourself if you beleive you are never going to be happy again
You can’t change the past. Shoulda…coulda….woulda won’t work. Hating won’t work. Killing yourself won’t work…
Just a suggestion….a very wise soul reccomended The Homecoming by John Bradshaw. The videos are on youtube. You can’t change what has happened or what is happening. You can only change you and your inner dialogue.
Your parents were dysfunctional….that is not their fault…they did the best they could with the tools they were given. Don’t settle for the same tools. Look for a better way. Break the cycle. Right now you are a victim of other’s dysfunctions. And if your parents didn’t abuse you enough….you’ve taken over the role of abuser and are now abusing yourself. No one can hurt you the way you hurt yourself.
Please don’t quit looking for answers…..you are worth saving…..we just have to convince you of that. What we do to ourselves with our negative self-talk is far more damaging than anything anyone else has done to us. But it is what we know…what we feel comfortable doing….the map was laid out for us by our parents…try learning a better way of thinking…of being. Even at the age of 50 the videos helped me understand things i didn’t understand. You should try it….what have you got to lose?
Just saying…..
Namaste