How do you cope?
…friend who you thought was your best friend left you?
…mother decides not to believe in you and wants to disown you?
…brother and sister decides to not stand up for you and stay with your mother instead, even though you truly believe you are right?
…only friends are the good friends, but no close friends?
…love life is in shit-hole?
…university academic is being affected by your drastic (depression) behavior?
…thoughts of suicide is re-surfacing, stronger than ever?
I am sleeping alone now in a hotel. My mother just left me to sleep in our new apartment. My brother is staying with my mother in his apartment for the night. I am exhausted and tired from crying my eyes out.
I do not want to sleep because I feel as if tomorrow is only going to get worse. New years day is the day after.
I want to leave the world. I do not know how to. Or maybe I am afraid. I have had suicidal thoughts since I was 7 years old but I never took it as seriously as within these past few years. Now all these stress is making me reconsider suicide as an option.
Please do not take it as a joke. Can anyone out there offer me some kind of help? Please.
I wish I have an angel or a friend or stranger or anyone… holding my hand right now and telling me sincerely it is alright and they will always be there to hear me and take time to take me seriously.
I really want to believe. again. How do you cope if you were in my shoes?