Do you know what it feels like to wake up every morning and need to cut to get up and start your day?… do u know how it feels to be rejected from your school, friends and family?.. to be ignored at home and everyone just tell me all i want is attention?… well how’s this for “just attention” … i have attempted suicide six times. tonight was my sixth time.. everyday i wake up feeling like i am useless and un important, that id be better off dead. i looke for every reason in the world to cry. i sit in cornners, write lyrics and listen to music and pour my heart out in tears and song. i’ve been abused by boyfriends and my father , sexually assaulted 3 times , forced into drugs and alcohol. Then i was put in a psychiatric hospital for two weeks… i admitted nothing so left free and with the same hurt. if i don’t get help soon, or find someone to talk to, i’m just going to give up and give in. I know it may be wrong. But it’s how i feel… my mother asked me the day she dropped me at the hospital why i had chosen the bad road in life and chosen to stay on it. i stared her straight in the face with tears in my eyes and told her .. “why do u assume all of a sudden that i see to roads?” i can’t change the past but i want help to change the future! I NEED SERIOUS HELP! i have more plans… please? anyone??…….. also remember the fact that… well.. i’m only 13
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2 comments
Realize those feelings didn’t come from you. You drew those conclusions and have been believing them…feeding your head with those untruths based on the way you were raised.
They are not your beliefs…send them back. When you’re at a restaurant and you don’t like the food, you send it back…you don’t eat it. If something isn’t working in your belief system, thus, making you feel bad, send it back…it’s untrue, garbage.
You’re a valuable, worthy, decent 13 yr old. Not your fault you didn’t have the proper role models. So you have the opportunity to change all of it should you wish. It’s a matter of turning your canoe to go downstream and flow with things. Nothing to be ashamed of, or guilty about. It’s not your fault…you’re all good…start there. Think and feel as well as you possibly can..you deserve happiness. Take care!!!
You’re right, the past isn’t your fault and please don’t blame yourself okay. Want to chat about fixing things in the future, look me up, happy to lend an ear or help.
Stay strong & positive.