To those that have been curious, as a few people asked about my name ….. well it’s a latin phrase ….
Ad Astra ~ means “To The Stars”
Ad Aastra Per Aspera ~ Means “To The Stars Through Difficulty”.
ie the universe was not made to be easy. Keep your chin up people and stay positive in 2012. I wish you all a well, healthier & happier 2012.
It’s not whether people have difficulties, this is a given, rather it’s how we choose to face them, that makes our character and defines us.
Here’s to you …. stay positive & strong.
65 comments
Back at ya my friend 😉 … as long as there is a glimmer of hope, we should all recognize it and reach for it with both hands!
Dawg
Some people face an endless stream of difficulties and turbulence. I always thought it was unfair to tell people that hurt and pain will somehow help you and make the journey worth it. What’s the payoff after years of hurt and suffering? And how many people live fulfilling lives after being kicked, stomped on and beaten repeatedly throughout life? I’ve never witnessed how the universe putting a person through hell most of their life actually benefited anyone. I find that people practice escapism via drugs, alcohol and other impulsive behavior, but never witness this silver lining that many people who are trying to help promise. I know I’m pretty much past the stage of help at this point, but for others that haven’t gotten to my place I think desperate people may be a little more receptive to something other than the blanket statement of “it gets better” If I knew what the magic word or phrase is…maybe I wouldn’t be here today…hahahah but it’s worth a shot. Maybe health professionals can talk to folks out there that have overcome things to find out what clicked in their head the minute they started thinking positive. I dunno…just a thought! Guess I’m trying to do some good deeds on my way to the bus stop by way of helping others…haha
And you qrs, hope it is ‘a nicer’ year ahead for you and everyone. And if diffoculties arise, so be it ….
Nikster, thats a fair question/post nikster – may i ask what are your set of endless difficulties/turbulences?.
There are people everyday who “actually” seek AND choose (yes choose) to live a positive life despite their severe adversities,, most of which they didn’t ask for or have a say in it (ie they were often born that way).
Life and how we live/approach it REALLY is based on the choices we make every SINGLE day.
Need geneuine examples of reall people overcoming REAL (ie not imagined, like oh whoa is me type of whining), but real issues & staying postive?
http://www.oddee.com/item_96763.aspx. I’ce actually met the first guy (from my hometown melbourne and happily was moved by the guy.
Normal everyday people, really have no excuse to whine & moan, when you see how good these people are. They chose not to be defined by their difficulties & so called disabilities, but rather sought the potential of ‘their abilities’…. i am sure you have many obvious and untapped abilties.
Here’s to a more positive year for you …
^^ for 2012,, i AIM to improve my typing skills ~ my brain is faster then my fingers!
Adestra
You are calling people here whiners, mopers and moaners. How is that supposed to help anyone?
Adastra said “Normal everyday people, really have no excuse to whine & moan, when you see how good these people are. They chose not to be defined by their difficulties & so called disabilities, but rather sought the potential of ‘their abilities’…. i am sure you have many obvious and untapped abilties.”
You could seriously drive someone to suicide Adastra.
Yes Utt, because being positive rather then reinforcing negativity drives people to suicide does it?
Grow a brain
.
That’s not a nice thing to say adastra. SO you don’t believe that there is such a thing as clinical depression? YOu think that it’s all a choice?
@uttilini… don’t jump to conclusions. Don’t jump to the negative polar opposite. Just because someone says ‘normal people have no reason to whinge and moan’ does not mean they are calling all NON normal people whingers and moaners. At least I didn’t take it that way. But if you are prone to misinterpreting everything in this way, well I can see why you’re depressed.
@ uttilini
i think Adastra is doing a great service on this site….and yes clinical depression is real and caused by the sufferers imo….i have struggled with severe depression most of my life….and being depressed caused me to seek answers and solutions rather than just give up and give in….
getting rid of the suicidal thoughts and feelings has been the most difficult tho…..it is my comfort zone…..if nothing else…..i can end it when i can’t take anymore….or so i thought until my last NDE….now i know that dying changes nothing….wherever you go…there you are…..just saying…..maybe you want to re-read the post with a different mind set?…..
as for you Ad Astra
Ad Aastra Per Aspera ~ Means “To The Stars Through Difficultyâ€.
i think i will steal your line and make a new mantra….lol….seems to be a theme of mine…..purified in the fire etc….is this how you deal with your overwhelming physical pain?….just a fellow sufferer looking for answers….
Namaste
I think Adastra could have left out the parts about people moaning whining and moping. To me that was just cruel. I mean I suppose some are but most are not. I know I am not. So I did take offense. I guess to some of you that was wrong of me. I can’t please all of you. Thank you.
Uttilini i dont see you as a whiner or moper:-) you are one of us !we all share similar problems and i for one am happy to be there and support if not just to let people know they are not alone…. I dont think any of us can take in huge posts that are complicated solutions to complex problems we are not here to be anylised (excuse my spelling) but we are here to hold each other up without judging im not after a complex discription of my problems just to be part of something without feeling shame expressing my weakness and struggles with suiside.
@uttillini – it was wrong of you to take offense… in the sense that
a. there was nothing to take offense to because that comment was not directed at you
b. In taking offense, you are only hurting yourself
I really think you are letting you skewed mind get in the way here, and part of getting better is understanding negative thought patterns, so that you can stop doing them and stop making yourself miserable.
This reminds me of a time when I ‘offended’ a friend of my sister (she still goes on about it). We were at a food fair and I said I didn’t want to get indian food because I ddint like it. The spice knocks me around and I find it too heavy and buttery. This girl was of indian descent, and she was offended at that… I didn’t understand it. I wasn’t saying I didn’t like Indians! Just not the food. I wouldn’t get offended if someone told me they didn’t like chinese food! (I’m chinese descent). I mean, not unless I cooked it.
Point is it’s a stupid misunderstanding (and no, before you leap to conclusions, I’m not calling YOU stupid!) and I hope you can recognise that you’re kinda self sabotaging here.
oh boy .. okay uttilini, you redeemed yourself with me in your other post re ur comment for blue waffle 🙂
I DO APOLGISE re my get a brain comment ~ stuff like that doesnt help. I just see it too often, that people get angry when you present a positive approach. This to be is the starting point of all progress in life. Practical solutions are then what come next, words alone arent enough i agree, but starting from a negative bias doesnt help anyone lest yourself.
Let’s be clear, people DEFINITELY have issues – both real & imagined. So let’s distinguish btw the two if i may ….physical issues or things like chemical imbalances are REAL and can exist along “a spectrum” of severity, some more so, some less so. Depends on each case/person.
Some people, ‘often’ young have either possibly undiagnosed real issues/chemical imbalances whilst many have just ‘poor thinking frameworks’ often resulting from sitautional environments eg poor homelife or poor quality social networks, and so they adopt “their environmental imprints” vs something better because they don’t know anything or anyone better. In these cases, people, both young and adults ‘often’ need “better quality” friendships and information so they can make better informed decisions about/for themselves.
Although i concur these people have/had tough lives/upbringings, i do believe helping them improve their lives ‘starts’ with being positive.
Other people, i call “the normal” (eg, my wife/husband left me – remember divorce is 50%+ in most western countries now, or im broke financially) i think have to remember their thoughts/strength will determines how they approach the next stage of their life.
Life isn’t fixed, but inner strength & resolve go a long way towards sending it in the right direction.
Life is or can be a based on a blank slate ~ we can import our past memories/miseries & failures, and relive them daily like we watch tv, or we can start with a blank slate approach and focus on ‘what could be our life’ … with some little work, effort & resilence….
And yes, Amakua, where you go, there you shall be … and what will you do when you get there? That is the question is it not….? Turn around and see you are going in the wrong direction and head in the right direction or a better one perhaps?
Just a Buddhist story …. When a person abused him, Lord Buddha listened to him in silence, but when the man had finished, the Buddha asked him,
‘Son, if a man declined to accept a present offered to him… to whom would the present belong to?’ The man thought carefully and answered ‘To him who offered the present.’
‘My son’, Buddha said, ‘I decline to accept your abuse. Keep it for yourself.’†~The Buddha
Namaste.
People commonly feel, I must experience only serenity, perpetual happiness, and have no worries ever. Unfortunately, this is not so…..it is how you approach them practically that matters most.
To people who don’t believe in being positive, i say this …. when you hear, experience or even say/do something positive yourself, is there not an ‘actual’ chemical reaction that takes place within you??
Words, Thoughts, Physical contact (eg a hug ~go see that video i posted, a kiss, a handshake/backslap, a high five, etc ) all can & do have a very real chemical existence and effect in reality, be they positive or negative. Do not undervalue the genuine power of good thoughts & words.
Especially as the universe is ruled by cause & effect. This is perhaps the greatest teacher of all, more then all books, all prophets, because this principle is unversal and stands the tes of time.
All words are the basis of our thoughts are they not? When our thoughts are infected with poor words, soon in time our thoughts become infected and poorly functioning. It is no different to a computer. All sqeaky and shiny and new and work well in the beginning, but slowly over time you visit poor websites with viruses, and slowly your computer gets slower and less functioning. That computer is also your mind …
Careful what you allow in it …. when you are strong you fear nothing & less affected, but when you are vulernable, you would be wise to fear somethings….at least until you feel stronger and ready to tackle them.
AdAstra
i have read the same story but it was attributed to a Franciscan monk i believe….truth is truth no matter who it is attributed to….
when i got there….i chose to come back and take another crack at it….stubborn some call me…..determined i say…..i get my inspiration from the music myself….and the newfound wisdom that assures me that not only is suicide not an option….it just isn’t real….only the physical body dies….just saying…been there….done that…..the T shirt is too small now….
Namaste
btw did you know that Jesus formulated his ultimate belief system based on what he learned of other beliefs and religions….Buddhism being the one he tended to acclimate to….just not sure where Christianity came from as Jesus was never a Christian…..
This is a great example of Choosing how to react and interpret something in one’s life. The statements made about “moping and whining’ where not directed at any one person yet some CHOSE to interpret it as a personal attack instead of as a blanket generalization
The original writer did NOT intend to insult anyone but rather attempted to inspire. anyone who took offense could just as easily had the following conversation with themselves to come to a different conclusion:
“Hey that offends me – why did they call me mopey?”
“Wait – Let me re-read that to be sure”
“Well, they didn’t say ‘I’ was Mopey specifically … and the comment wasn’t in response to a post by me”
“Ahh – I see in context – they are trying to maybe inspire people to make positive choices”
“”I’m not sure if they are aware that clinically depressed folk sometimes can’t overcome their ‘mopeyness'”
“I will post a follow up to help them understand”
“Dear Poster – I get that you are trying to be helpful to folks that are down in the dumps by inspiring them with the successes of how ‘normal’ people address being mopey – I would like to tell you that while I find your attempt noble, some folk who are diagnosed with clinical depression just can’t overcome that mopey feeling – I’d like to help you understand how the clinically depressed process these types of feeling so you don’t make them feel like it is somehow their fault that they can’t snap out of it …”
So you see, but recognizing that you are upset by something and taking a closer look – then giving the “offending person” the benefit of the doubt that they never INTENDED to be offensive – you can change how YOU actually feel … and actually feel GOOD about helping the original poster to understand something he may not have known!!!
Try it! It can WORK for YOU!!! 🙂 😀 🙂 😀 🙂
Lets all try to be happier and tolerant of each other!
dawg
Yep i did think that re JC but happy to read any evidence you have to support this.
That said, everything in the universe, and i do mean everything, both physical universe and humans thoughts are a derivative of a dervivative.
cases in point ~ the bible is derived (if you analyse it) from various greek/judaic/buddhist teachings known at the time. Likewise the Talmud, or the Jewish Bible (despite what is claimed) is mostly derived from the Egyption Book of The Dead, which is what the Egyption rulers had written and where Moses lived and worked ~ remember he worked for the pharoahs afterall.
ie: everything must (a law of physics) must come from something prior. This includes illnesses etc.
ie: every affect has a prior cause. This is just a frame for understanding things.
ps Molly, my only suggestion is print out stuff or copy/past stuff into word you find interesting on the web and have a folder for stuff you find useful reference or reminders.
hey adastra….ever read any of the Nag Hammadi texts….i especially like the Book of Enoch and the Book of Mary…..here is just one link to what i was referring to….if interested….link…link…link..lol
http://reluctant-messenger.com/issa.htm
apparently Jesus also visited the New World and tales of the great white father are widespread….especially in the Hopi and Navaho traditions….
please keepin mind that Jesus was just a man like us…but a seeker….and that the Christ consciousness which is available to us all….is what made him so special….unfortunately his words have been bastardized in an attempt to control the masses….just saying….maybe IT IS time for the Christ to return to the world….
Qws,
It’s cool QWS, i get what utt’s was saying. Lets also remember but this simple fact.. our words, thoughts, gestures to ourselves and others can and do affect our chemical processes. They serve a useful function too.
Afterall, isn’t love natures chemical high?
Enjoy…
hey Ad Astra…..i posted the link for the info you were asking about…..but because of the link…..it has to be moderated…..could you?
Namaste
done. t’you A…
I realize why I got upset with the original post here. When I was 17 I was on a camping trip and was raped and attacked every day for 10 days straight by my brother’s 24 yr old friend. After that I began to suffer from a severe, debilitating depression. I went from a straight A student to almost failing. I was involved in theater and worked etc. But after being attacked for 10 days straight I was numb, depressed, confused, had no energy etc. I tried to turn to my parents and they blew it off. BTW it was my brother who took me on the camping trip through his company. He was on the trip and did NOTHING to protect me. As time went on I got more and more depressed and I didn’t understand what was happening to me. My mom would say things to me like “Just smile at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you love yourself” But also would yell at me for not being like I was before the trip. SHE WAS ALSO A PSYCH NURSE working on a PSYCH WARD. She was so cruel about my depression. I can’t even explain it all here. She was merciless. SO was my dad. But they’d say these sing song expressions like “Let go Let God” and would tell me to just buck up and get over it etc. So when I read this it kicked that off in me. THis whole idea that it’s entirely MY choice to be depressed. It took me years to get to a place where I wasn’t numb anymore. It took me years to face what my family had done to me. I needed serious help at the time. Not quotes of inspiration or gimicks to feel better etc. I was blamed for my reaction to being raped for 10 days on a trip that I could not escape from. I mean surely you can understand why I was horribly depressed and that being told that I was weak etc was quite cruel because I was not weak. I needed help. I fought tooth and claw to find that help but it took me a long time. It still affects me. NOt so much the rape I am over that. It’s the betrayal of my family. My dad also beat us until he broke bones when we were younger. I don’t know it goes on from there. I blocked the abuse by my father out of my mind until recently. NOw all my siblings have told me about it. I don’t even truly remember it to this day. I was not the only one who was beaten. All my sisters were beaten too. I remember watching them be beat. I remember being treated like shit when I was a child. It stays with you. Trust me.
Just so you know adastra I wasn’t looking to be redeemed with you. I appreciate that you said have apologized for telling me to grow a brain though. Thank you for that.
And to be honest with you all… It upsets me that I shared all that with you but I felt I had to explain where I was coming from. I am only recently facing the intense abuse of my past. I can not escape from it. It is in my face. I denied it for years. Tried to function otherwise. Never understood the depression or what was wrong with me. NOw I do understand it. I was able to be there for my parents as they reached the end of their lives and I am glad I was. People have told me that I am an extraordinary person for having done so after all they had done to me. It was healing to me to be there for them. I never really liked my dad and to be honest I left his care mostly to my siblings but I did like and love my mom. Toward the end when she became so frail we got very close and one day she apologized to me for how she had treated me. YOu have no idea what that meant to me. She didn’t come right out and say “I was cruel to you” but she did admit that she never understood depression and that was enough for me. For her to finally admit that was a blessing. I don’t expect life to be a bowl of cherries. I never did. It never has been. It has taken me years to reverse the messages about myself that I grew up with. I still grapple with them. I still get to a place where I feel so worthless and like I am nothing. I still have severe depression. All my siblings suffer from some form of depression. Even my brothers. It’s just never that simple I guess. I feel vulnerable writing all of this. I hate being this vulnerable because certainly someone could come along and say “So what? get over it” I guess I will just have to deal with that if it happens. It wouldn’t be new to me that’s for sure.
@Utt – it’s courageous that you are opening up and releasing that which you’ve held bottle up inside you – I think it can only help you to release it all through discussion to be able to move past it. I think you’ll soon find a huge weight will be lifted and you will feel free of your burdens to finally move forward.
God bless – I wish you nothing but goodness 🙂
dawg
Thank you qrs. I wish you well too.
I doubt that I will ever come back here again.
I should not have shared this stuff here.
I don’t like to share this junk online with total strangers. Also my post was for the other thread that adsastra started not this one. But oh well. Ugh
Is there a way to rescind your membership here?
sorry you feel that way – I hope it’s nothing I said that has upset you. Please be well
dawg
i don’t know – there is a link to the support forum in he dashboard that might have some answers for you regarding that.
No it’s nothing you said. It’s what I said. I hate that I told my story like that. FUck it
Please don’t feel bad – i know it made me feel vulnerable and weak to tell some of my story/reasons why I am contemplating – but at the end of the day, if we’re gonna ride the bus, what difference does it make to get a little outside perspective? It can’t really hurt anymore than it already does, right? I know I’ve made mistakes aplenty – and it’s really been my own poor choices that ultimately lead to to my situation along with a little “luck”.
Embarrassment and humiliation seem the least of my worries at this point. but in current company I have found more support, compassion and understanding than I’ve seen anyone ridicule or take advantage of someone’s revelations.
Sometimes you just need to let it out and get it off you chest and out in the “open” – at least the folks here are less apt to be judgmental
dawg
Uttilini dont go i dont feel any different about you because we are total strangers doent mean we dont care i feel deeply for you regarding what you went through it wasnt your fault. You sound like a very compassionate person to look past the past and care for your mum. You should feel proud of yourself for dumping all the crap you were holding in maybe now you can move on??talk about it more it helps believe me! I hope you stay on for a while you just need to be listened to and here is a safe place (((((hugs)))))
Hey Utts,
I told you that you redeemed yourself with me from ur blue waffle comment and you did so again here.
Unfortunately, the net doesnt give anyone a full picture of a person you are corresponding with, so we make assumptions, both right and often wrong.
I’m a big believer in cause & effect and working thru this principle to pretty much solve many things in life. I knew your ‘effect’ (ie anger, negativity, resentment, etc). What I didn’t know was your ’cause’.
Now i do. Thankyou. That took courage to do that of your own back when no one asked. Don’t feel regretful about being honest, even when honesty isnt always pleasant and some might not like it. But granted we have to pick our time and place.
I’ve dated a few girls who have had similiar past issues – it’s suprisingly how common it is.
People can be asses, lets agree on that.
If you ever want to chat ~ you know where to find me.
I’m not very big on ‘airy fairy’ platitudes, despite what some may think on here, rather I big on the concept of “relevance”.
What you say/do must be relevant to each situation / person vs just saying life will get better. Whilst this may be true, sometimes this isn’t absorbed because our mind is distracted elsewhere.
Just remember UTTs, what others have done to you in the past, you can’t control. What you can control is how/what you think about it.
Forgive your parents, ‘old era’ parents werent bad, they just did what they knew. The ‘stiff upper lip’ was what most were taught, vs talking/understanding things. They were taught not to question things too much so not their fault.
As i see it, you have two choices ~ keep living in your past memories/experiences and let them destroy or contaminate your present & future, or …
Decide, that whilst my past wasn’t perfect (life never is), i will make my present & future “better”.
Don’t let your past dictate your future. Rather it is what you do ‘right now’ in ‘the present’ that dtermines your future.
This combined with love, good friends, an okay job can make life (not perfect) but better.
Any decent mature guy, wouldn’t give a damn about your past. He may not have the tools to address/help you, but mostly he would want to live in a better future vs a poorer past. Isn’t this where you too want to live?
Come say hi if you want to…
Here’s to a better, healthier & happier 2012 for you utts.
Take care…
Thanks (((Molly))
wow….what a story uttilini….unfortunately i see nothing in there that says you must continue to suffer…..that is still your choice unfortunately….i know what it feels like to share something and then take it back…..notice all of my posts are deleted…..lol….i also can not journal….i’m afraid someone would read it…..but there is always an answer….don’t quit looking…..i found mine through a sexual abuse counsellor…..it took a long time for me to trust even her…..but the payoff from the perseverance was worth it…..and now i’d like to share 2 very personal things with you…..since you have been brave enough to reach out…..you are helping others without even knowing it…..
okay….deep breath…..i have a similiar story or so….the one in particular i am talking about happened when i was 7. I was raped by a relative of a relative in the silo….lured there with the promise of seeing baby ducks……always blamed my mom for allowing me to go with an 19 year old man…..blamed my sister for abandoning me at the last minute….etc ….etc….etc….truth turns out after years….and i repeat years….i am a slow learner….lol….of therapy…..my mom didn’t have a clue…..my sister was just afraid of the silo…..the asshole hung himself in his jail cell….and i still didn’t feel any better…..part of this is because i continued to be abused throughout most of my childhood and well into my adulthood….why is this????
there are many truths….the fact that i was still abusing myself…instead of cutting etc…like so many on this site do….i found a more socially acceptable way of self-abusing….i allowed others to do it for me…..husbands…boyfriends…friends…..family….etc. lol at myself
now here is my deep dark secret….the reason i could not let the self loathing and self punishment etc alone……because even though i was only 7 and had no real idea what was happening…..until i lost consciousness….and had my first NDE….my body was actually responding in a way that i could not accept…..only sharing this in case anyone else can relate….might save the sanity of a few counsellors…lmao….i was angry at myself for being human….for being curious…..
and here is my other secret……there is a light at the end of the tunnel…..how can we become self aware if there is nothing about ourselves that needs looking at….hmmmm?…..trust that what happened to you had nothing to do with you….you are not bad….you are not insane….you are not evil….you are not cursed….you are perfect…..you just can’t feel it yet…..please don’t quit looking for your answers….you are a survivor….a warrior if you will…..damn i wish i had left some of my posts up for you…..enough i say….
now who went blah blah blah all the way home…..and i’m not going anywhere….you and i are both very safe right here…..the truth
Namaste
Amakua how do you delete a post? Thanks
Nicely said Amakua,
Just remember this all of you who have been mistreated, because you carry this as a ‘memory’ (some call it a meme), be ‘consciously’ aware you are not replaying this over and over like a record or reference point for the future. It’s only the past.
You have consciousness as to how you play / act / think / behave in the future. Throw the ‘old tape’ out.
We cant control how others treat us but we can control how we treat otherselves and others. The power is still with you (inside you). Remember that.
Also, don’t make the mistake of reading something positive be it from me or anyone else ONLY once!? You have ‘likely’ been replaying your negativity over and over and over an over.
Tell me this, when is the last time you read a good positive inspiring book over and over and over, or just as useful, when is the last time you read a quote/saying/post/insight over and over and over to ACTUALLY ABSORB IT AND UNDERSTAND IT?
I will guess never. So it begs the question, if the mind is like a storage unit or tape recorder. how can you possibly change it when you go over the negative over and over often for years from childhood to every single day and yet you only read a few positive posts/insights/comments “maybe” once or twice.
Your mind is a storage unit people replay over and over. Erase all the past crap and replace it with newer more posiitive thoughts (this is the starting poiint) and newer experiences.
Then re-read this post 10 times 🙂
The aim of reading IS NOT to read, it is to gain understanding. From understanding, we then gains further insights we have previously not seen or had. From these insights we then gain higher awareness that helps us in everyday life.
I hope this makes sense and helps somewhat.
to delete a post is easy…..to delete a comment….not so sure…..although it would sometimes be helpful if i knew….lol
to delete a post….go to dashboard….go to your post…..and delete….
more than that i do not know sorry
Namaste
@ Amakua2309 & adastra; Well said, both of you. Bravo. By any chance, are you older folks?? I thought I had seen Amakua2309 state she (?) was a 50 year old. Nice.
Look up dissociation Adastra. Please
hey Gaara….you are correct…i am 50…..or rather i turned 50 on Sept. 23 this year…..my grandmother is turning 95 on Monday….so i guess i really could be older….just not sure i want to be…..toooo much older i guess….i’ll go for 75 tops….after that……but no matter what i refuse to grow up….and learn how to act….to busy learning how to be
Namaste
Utts,
I know what dissociation is and that it is often caused or similiar to ptsd, which you explained.
That said, some people can experience low sensitivity to present/ future said situations and some higher sensitivity to similiar situations. ie effects exist along a spectrum of intensity.
A good medico / pysch should be able to address this properly. Bit hard in an online context where thoughts are truncated and diverted.
Trust you understand?
That said, if you want to chat at some length and detail, you have my email/msn (listed a few times here).
Mental wounds are much like Physical wounds ~ they require expert treatment. I won’t presume you havent or arent having this as you seem quite smart and switched on.
ps: im in my 30s for those that asked … young enough to feel life can be changed around but old enough to know how … 🙂
Adastra if you only knew the animosity I feel toward you, you would not call me “Utts” or invite me to chat. I know you don’t understand that but whatever. Your constant blaming, condescension and veiled anger are more than I can stomach.
Now your posse will be here to straighten me out but I won’t be around to hear it because as far as I am concerned this place is poisoned now.
See ya
Sorry uttilini….no posse….doesn’t work like that around here…..or so i’ve found…..please don’t misunderstand Ad Astera….no offence was meant….he’s more about knowledge and book stuff than real life i think…..shares very little imo of a personal nature….some of us can appreciate it and some of us can’t…..don’t take anything personally on this site….unless you choose to….some are here to help….some are here to try to help…..some are here to listen….some are here to talk…..some are here to share…..some are here to have their own experience….but no one is judging you ever….unless you accept their judgement and own it….they are living their own pain their own way….please stick around and share or just listen….but stay
Namaste
Gonna go catch a few zzzz’s….my daughter wants to do sparklers on the deck at midnight….in the freezing cold….what the hell….i’m game….Happy New Year all…..hope to see you all in the New Year
Namaste
Live, Learn, Love, Laugh….Always Laugh
Amakua
@uttillini, sigh. Of course no one chooses to have depression. But you CAN choose to do something about it. I sincerely hoe you do. It’s evident this site is not helping you, so I hope you find something that does help. To a new year and new beginnings.
HI one day That’s not true. This site helps me a lot but I should not have engaged with “adastra” I sort of knew that coming in so that part is my fault. And yes SOME people here are saying that depression is a choice. That it is moaning moping and whining. That is a cruel and uneducated thing to say. It perpetuates the stigma that mental illness is a choice and that it is a weakness, when the truth is that people who struggle with Mental illness day in and day out are some of the strongest people I know. I have endured things that would cause most to buckle. I am one of the strongest people I personally know. I would love to challenge some of the what I percieve to be Poly Anna, advice dispensers here to walk one day in my shoes and see how they fair. I really doubt they’d be able to do what I do. I mean that sincerely. You’d be doing more than sighing. I could go through every detail here but it would be a small novel and I’d still get people saying “Oh well get over it” But that’s an easy “answer” which is convenient for those who would rather not face that yes indeed life can throw you things that take more than an attitude adjustment to overcome. IN fact I am sure the next response to this will be something like “That’s your choice” etc. Every day I choose to live I have faced more than most. And I do this daily.
@uttillini, sometimes it really feels like you are not really reading the responses carefully. Do you disagree with my statement that you CAN choose to do something about your depression? (NOT in any way implying depression is a choice, but you CAN choose to take action on it.) So if this site helps you, I hope you continue to let it. Whatever tools you find that help you, I hope you CHOOSE to pursue them. Once again, the choice is not about having depression, it’s about what you’re going to do about it.
I have yet to see anyone here who has said “get over it” … You are absolutely correct that one should not presume to understand unless they’ve “walked a mile in your shoes”
but you can’t just 100% ridicule the “life is about choices” advisors … and then turn around and say “Every day I ‘choose’ to live…” because you are proving the point that folks like AdAstra are trying to make … that CERTAIN aspects of life ARE – in fact – about what we choose and how we decide to accept, view and react to things in our life
That is NOT to say that any type of mental health issue is by any means “chosen” – that’s just silly … and I would certainly agree that anyone who says so should be ridiculed – at the same time, being diagnosed with a mental illness doesn’t change the fact that “life is about choices” …
a mental affliction, like a physical affliction, limits the options we can choose in our lives – but many of the choices are STILL there along with the options we can choose.
for Example – If I have a broken leg – running the Boston marathon in absolutely NOT an option – but with the help of crutches I could still get off the couch and get to the fridge to get a cold beer or make a sammich 🙂
Conversely I would agree that many choices/options are limited or impossible when someone has depression – but when someone is trying to help – they cannot “see’ what options are off the table so the well-intending advice dispensers appear as bumbling, boorish and rude – even hurtful and dismissive – BUT that doesn’t change the fundamental principles of “life is about choices” … I would agree that the “advice dispensers” need to take care to not be cavalier with their samaritanism since every situation and person is different.
dawg
Uttilini,
I am happy to be challenged “on anything” I have said so don’t take things too personally either …its not intended… if you have points of difference, likely mostly intellectual (but i try to be also practical) … happy to discuss ‘anything’
All good?
AdAstra
“but I should not have got engaged with “adastra†…~ we got engaged??!!??
Oh dear, but we haven’t even met yet?
🙂
now you’re goin’ too far the other way adastra…..lmfao…..you’ll piss her off again…..lol….you are sooooo definitely male…..check my recent comments on the other post….doomsday i believe….lmao….you have made my day for sure
Namaste
crap crap crap….lol…about the above mentioned comments….they are currently waiting mediation….sorry for any confusion Ad Astra…..lol
Hmm this is a pleasant revelation. Amakua2309 is 50, and adastra is in his 30’s. Excellent. It is always the adults who have the best advice. Remember: I only listen to the older folks…
Told ya adAstra was a he … a lot younger than I expected … Tell me adAstra – what was it that originally brought you here … the cliff notes will do if you’re willing to share.
@Gaara – I’m closer to amakua, agewise – just sayin
dawg
@ Dawg; Then I am curious. If I may ask, how old are you?
Older than adAstra – who you say is 30 ish and younger than amakua who you say is 50 … my age is closer to amakua – that should be enough 😉
old dawg
you are younger than my parents
dang – no wonder why they don’t quite “get” you
young for a grandpaDawg
@Adastra & @Amakua: I personally find your discussions here especially about JC & source of bible & christianity to be derived from others, to be particularly very interesting!
thanks for sharing that~
another enlightenment to lift up the veils by this world/society, even religious institutions!
@dawg, my mom is fifty, my dad is 56
okay pple, I came aware of this website thru another young person (15yo) whose family i know … and i heard him mention this website which to me is a cry for help or at very least an alarm bell.
We had a really good chat and sorted a few things out about life – his parents appreciated it (he kinda looks up to me but i didnt know that so he liked chatting to me). We are closer friends now and stay in regular weekly contact (the famiily lives in the country about 4 hrs away).
I just think a lot of country people/kids can feel less then their city counterparts/peers etc. I know his parents are decent country folk so i like to take them out a bit to city places for dinner / sightseeing etc …and they appreciate it too.
So anyway, when i read a few of the stories here i just figured i would comment/post back. I also know sometimes the holiday period can be pretty trying for people, so hey ..there you go …
I ‘try’ do my little bit to help people where i can.
Thats it.
Niki,
All knowledge, and i do mean all knowledge/understanding is derived and often grown from others before, be i religious, science, business.
No ONE person is born knowledgeable, not even einstein etc, rather each ‘so called smart person’ learns from other smart people in their specific area of interest and then where able, grows or adds to that knowldge base.
How did you learn about stuff? Bit by bit and from reading just like others, yes?
Everyone else is exactly the same, Buddha, JC, Einstein, Galileo, etc
So never think you are not as good as other people. You sound like a pretty well read person.
Stay strong in 2012 okay no matter what.
ps dawg is a cool cat more then a dawg 🙂