One Final Thing

Injustice, insecurity, and very many problems.

Not a clue where they came from or how I could solve them.

Nights seeming darker, feeling more sorrow.

No anticipation for the day or the sun of tomorrow.

Concrete in my veins, a wrecking ball in my head.

Years of self hatred, wishing I was dead.

Crumbling away slowly, until there was nothing more.

I swallowed back hard, and sank to the floor.

Somehow still alive, but still without life.

Just a small spark of hope things would go right.

Days grueling on, forcing myself forward.

That glimmer of hope keeping my heart between my shoulders.

But time is only temporary: three months slowly passed.

That speck of hope the last thing that I had.

Then something changed, the ball stopped swinging.

Something grew inside me, shock, it was singing.

For so many years, I was miserable and hating.

But that hope inside me, it was patiently waiting.

I was lead in, away from the cold.

I never thought my happiness could scream out so bold.

I didn’t appreciate life for many agonizing years.

I bled, I screamed, I shed so many tears.

But where I am now, after trying to give up.

I’m just so glad, so grateful, that I didn’t fuck up.

So when you wills have vanished, and you think everything has died.

Try one final thing, and just keep your hope alive.

“Wipe your eyes dry, you’ll see clearer. The end of this is coming close to us, don’t rush.” – From First To Last