Hello,
For some time now I have been clinically depressed. Just an endless stream of doctors & pills (NO HELP). The only time I am happy I am thinking of ending it all. But I cannot because I have dependents, I am frightened that one day these feeling are going to get the better of me.
Really need to talk to someone in the same boat, Â are these feelings a common symptom of depression.
9 comments
Everyone here is in pretty much the same boat so you can talk to us!
You say you’ve seen many doctors, but does this include shrinks and councillrs?
Also you say that thinking of ending it all makes you ‘happy’, that’s not really my experience personally, so I wonder if your condition is complicated by other things.. like OCD? (this is where a shrink might be useful, since they have more experience with that kind of thing…)
Its good that you are being proactive about identifying these feelings early, before they get the better of you. Can you elaborate why you are depressed?
Yes I do have OCD, I have seen a councilor not a shrink.
I have a low opinion of people in that profession because they treat everyone the same. I mean what there textbook tell them to do they do, everyone is an individual. Giving a pill should be a last resort not a first point of call.
Thanks for getting back so quickly great to talk
I am from England by the way
I totally agree, everyone is different and needs different treatment. But by the same token, not all shrinks are the same. Some have different tratments. There is no right or wrong, but some treatments work for others but maybe not for you, so I would encourage you to keep trying different people.
Regarding the difference between councillors and shrinks, I think councillors are more trained for crisis and standard response, but shrinks are more in depth and analytical, so the individually targetted treatment you are seeking is more likely to come from a shrink, so give that a go. Also, are you getting pills from a GP? GPs are not specifically trained to prescribe for depression so it’s no wonder the pills aren’t working. You should see a shrink who has more experience with this. You should give feedback with your doctor about what does and doesn’t work.
So I guess obsessing about ending it all is symptomatic of your OCD. I don’t have OCD so I don’t know how to help.. but don’t people with OCD normally see a shrink to treat this?
Do you want to talk about why you’re depressed?
Anyway, sorry but I have to go to bed now, but I will be around. But I hope you keep talking. It’s good for you!
Australia! Stupid time difference…
Do you mind if I ask why you have subscribed to this site
Isn’t it obvious? Same as everyone. I have depression and need an outlet for it because it’s misunderstood by my friends and family. I found this site researching suicide techniques. Like you, suicide is not really an option but I still think about it- doesn’t necessarily mean I am going to do it.
I have this feeling hanging over me all the time, the only way I can describe it is that I know how I am going to meet my end. I don’t want to feel like this anymore, I feel like I am standing still and everyone around me is living life. I love my wife but she cannot possibly know how I feel. I must be horrible to live with GUILT GUILT GUILT!.
Sorry I asked about your reasoning for subscription to this site, I did not mean any offence.
How did you feel when it first started, was there a trigger?
There was no trigger for me, the doctor said it sounds like SAD, If only.
I was reading an old philosophy book which stated ‘if a pattern occurs in the human psyche, look to yourself for answers’. Meaning I think we can heal ourselves.
I like Rugby League, do you live near a team in OZ. My team is St Helens where I live.
Finish work Wed for Christmas, HOORAY
When it first started I was 11. There was no trigger and it wasn’t until years later that I realized what depression was, I always thought it wasnormal to feel this way.
But my feelings are evidently quite different to yours. The feelings of enevitability you have is that something associated with OCD? Because no one knows the future but if u feel like u do I can see that being a trigger for depression.
I think u should talk to yr wife. Bottling up is the worst thing u can do and yr wife should be sympathetic if not understanding. Hopefully talking to yr wife will alleviate some of that guilt, that’s not good for you either.
You are right, we can heal ourselves. But u have to be really willing to be honest with yourself, probe deep and be open to other peoples opinions/perspectives.
I don’t follow any kind of sport really. But I used to live in stoke newington and was surrounded by arsenal fans