Since my mental condition got really bad,I live like a prisoner.I am not behind bars ,but I lead such a limited life.I cannot even drive a car or go to a bank to withdraw some money from my bank account.I can’t even buy a mobile phone or have my mobile phone repaired.I have become a really isolated disabled recluse whose life is really painful.I have only one friend ,but I think I’m losing him too.Because I no longer enjoy being with him.Maybe that’s because he’s not mentally ill.He is normal.His life is not limited or boring ,and he expects to have a bright future.I have to admit I envy him .We are just so different.
At least there’s one thing I’m sure about.My death is fast approaching.This reality calms me down.
4 comments
I am very limited in the amount of friends I have. That is an interest thought that you have about your friend not be ill like you. He expects things out of life unlike yourself. You surely helped me understand why I think the way I do now. Thank you. Its hard to be friends with someone that “has it all”.
Yes,it’s hard,because your friend tells you about his or her ambitions and hopes,and you realize that you probably will never achieve the things that he keeps telling you about,and this really sucks!
But I’m afraid if I lose my only remaining friend,I won’t be able to bear the loneliness and will go nuts.I don’t know what to do.
On the one hand I cannot enjoy being with other people ,but on the other hand,I don’t want to isolate myself even more.
Differences are what broaden us – similarities are what binds us. If you want to be a good friend – be happy for your friend’s hopes dreams and aspirations – not jealous or envious (which are both listed in the “7 deadly sins’ if I recall). It sounds like your friend is trying to be helpful and compassionate – I hope you can find a way to see your friend in a better light and even though it may be difficult, find a way to be supportive to him as well.
dawg
It’s just that I find it so hard to maintain social relationships when I am so mentally sick.I have a very low self-esteem and I keep thinking that people find me boring or even repulsive.I am surprised that i haven’t lost my friend already.
By the way,He ‘s recently started to talk about suicide and stuff like that.I wonder if my depression is contagious and my friend has been infected with it.