I was saved

Well for the people who don’t know last year, 7th grade was the one time in my life that I wish I could change. The year I figured out who I really was and what I really wanted to do. It was also the year I had gotten sexually abused for the 4th time by my mothers boyfriend :’). I’ve noticed my sexual abusers are always linked to my family in some way and they go on for long periods of time :/. Anyways he had moved in with us and stuff and then things started happening like very small unnoticeable things until the big bang of course. Whatever he stopped eventually and my mom and him had a fight he moved out,big relief for me :). This year in the beginning he slept over for like a few weeks and I let my guard down…last time. He started touching me the way he used to when he wanted to make the “move” I was scared out of my mind. I thought I was safe though because it was that time if month well turns out not so much. One night my mom was out until late everyone was asleep except me even he was asleep well he woke up and then the questions started. “where’s your mom?” ” how long ago did she leave?” ” who did she take?” “who’s asleep?” “when us she coming back?” I started having an anxiety attack each time I answered his questions. I avoided him as much as possible until he called me into his room and right when I entered I got a call from my mother “is he awake?” “yes” “tell him to meet me at the store I need help with the bags” “now?” “now” I told him and he immediately left. I literally fell to the floor and had another anxiety attack and all I could think of was how lucky I got tonight :/ he still sleeps over from time to time and now I don’t let my guard down :/