If I had a gun right now, I wouldnt be typing this.. i would be dead. Unluckily for me, I live in Ireland.
There is nothing wrong with my life and nothing that I cant change.I just lack the motivation to do whats best for myself and use my talents. I know where im going wrong but I choose to do nothing. Im the only one at fault, I dont blame the world for my own lack of effort. The truth is that life just bores me… learn to drive, get a job, buy a house, get married, have kids and die. That pretty much sums up the average person in my country. You cant even enjoy your own company without somebody thinking there is something wrong with you…. since I was 12 years old I have only seen humanity as sheep following each other off a cliff.. im 20 now and feel no different.
I think im going to end it all soon enough someway or another, hopefully sometime this year.. sure I have family and friends that would be shocked but im not built for life or this period of time anyway. Fuck it all, id rather go to sleep.
8 comments
dont give up. these feelings are only temporary and im sure you dont want to hear this. im going through a lot of crap to and im hanging on to the last straw. you can do this. i also wish to sleep forever and all the time. but be productive get working and dont isolate yourself from others. you can fight this
This world is very small..yet we have never met. If I could tell you ever bad thing that has happened to me..you would wonder why I’m not gone yet. But no..I do cry daily..but its not always because of the pain ive been through..I cry for other peoples pain and what they’ve went through. Pray to God..he will change your thinking.
“The truth is that life just bores me… learn to drive, get a job, buy a house, get married, have kids and die.” – I think that’s the average person everywhere. I am 20 also, but I live in America, and I understand what you are saying. Your post sounds a lot like what I’m going through. I lack motivation too. But I do happen to blame the world aside from myself, it’s so shitty, and I don’t really want to be a part of it. I am having a hard time trying to get a job. I have applied to different places, and I am not given a chance. I have no college degree, and even people with degrees have trouble getting jobs. And that’s the fault of the politicians and bankers that ruined the economy. Anyway, I’m not going to tell you to what to do, but I think you could at least give yourself a chance to live a somewhat productive life apart from all the sheep of the world. I’m gonna give it a go. This world needs good, creative, different people to offset the sheep.
… and a LOT of baking with betty 😉
lol Yup.
“The truth is that life just bores me… learn to drive, get a job, buy a house, get married, have kids and die. That pretty much sums up the average person in my country. You cant even enjoy your own company without somebody thinking there is something wrong with you”
I really do not know what to tell you. Have felt that way my whole life.
And my first couple attempts failed and fear of further bodily damage has kept me around. That and hoping the health issues would cause me to die.
“I think im going to end it all soon enough someway or another, hopefully sometime this year.. but im not built for life or this period of time anyway. Fuck it all, id rather go to sleep”
Your thoughts mirror mine so closely that it is scary.
I got the education, the jobs, owned a house at one time, have purchased several vehicles even was married for 8 months, and none of that stuff mattered. It was like following a script.
Now you do have to take action to provide food, water, and shelter for yourself. And education and trade skills do help to gain resources in that fashion.
Outside of that just do what you want. You do not have to be married, have kids, own a house, own a car or anything like that. Although make sure public transporation is reliable and cost efficient or you can walk everywhere easily if you opt out of a vehicle.
And even if you do try something different, there are no guarantees.
You can choose to live with chance and effort or you can choose to die with the guarantee of nothing afterwards.
Thanks for all of your replies. I have decided I will become a monk and live in the middle of nowhere(joke) although I wish… humanity just gets on my nerves so much im beginning to wonder if I am human.(another joke) ah fuck it, one can dream of waking up one day and its only me on earth.
“You cant even enjoy your own company without somebody thinking there is something wrong with you”
lol one of the many reasons I had to drop out .. sick and tired of those dumb fucks that think you’re are dying to be noticed and talked to