living life. who knows? maybe it does get better. but time doesnt heal everything. that is such a lie, whoever said it does. people will crush you eventually if they havent already. hell I’m not even 20 and everyone I know has hurt me one way or another, physically and mentally. I found out yesterday that i have body dysmorphic disorder. and my mom told me that im gonna be seeing a doctor soon for my chemical imbalance because they think im getting too depressed. but i wouldnt call it depressed, more like disturbed. mentally disturbed.
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I encourage you to be well for yourself not to ease the worries of other people. Thinking in this way is of more benefit to you. I used to think I needed to be okay for everyone else but learned that when you care that you feel good for you, for all your own best reasons…it allows you to focus the mental energy you do have on YOU, because everyone else concern or worry as nice a sentiment as it may be, is unnecessary weight for you.
Good luck!
I can say that life does get better. I can’t say it won’t go back down again, though, it’s some kind of crazy roller-coaster with ups and downs.
I know what I’m about to say will come off in exactly the way I don’t mean it to and that you’ll most likely take it the wrong way, I know I would have in the same situation but here I am sticking my foot in my mouth anyway, so here goes.. you’re still very young. When we’re in our teens and early 20’s life is entirely different and it’s very hard in different ways than it is for the late 20’s and 30+ crowd – but that doesn’t make it any less valid, so I hope you don’t feel like that’s what I’m getting at because it’s totally not.
Any point in our life, it’s difficult to grasp the future potentials – it’s easier and more natural to look at past experiences and draw knowledge from those… but the people who’ve hurt you over the last 20 years don’t have to be a part of the next 20 years of your life. Those people can eff off, in all honesty. You have an amazing journey ahead of you and now that you’re an adult, YOU get to call the shots. If you want to move to Brazil, go for it. You might get kidnapped by a drug cartel, but who knows, maybe you’ll find happiness with a dance instructor named Philippe. The point is, you’re not stuck, you have so much to discover and to offer.
BDD is never fun, but I’m sure you’re a beautiful/handsome young woman/man. It can be hard to see when your mind clouds over everything else, but if you weren’t a good looking cat they wouldn’t call it BDD and they wouldn’t treat it at all. They don’t try to cure ugly people, just attractive people who’ve convinced themselves there’s something wrong with their appearance when there isn’t.
Try telling yourself you’re beautiful, even if you don’t feel it, try it anyway.
There’s a really interesting movie called What the Bleep Do We Know? (it’s even on youtube) and it’s about Quantum theory. Some of it’s boring but some of it touches on water’s ability to feel, absorb and react to emotions – our bodies are made almost entirely of water, so if our thoughts can affect water visibly and intensely then one can only imagine what they can do to us.
Sorry I ramble. I have good intentions, I promise. I hope things start looking up for you.