Here I am trying to catch up on last minute details.
I had a fun time writing my own obituary and even put some humor in it. I am going to leave it in my home taped to my refrigerator along with my handwritten, live and dead wills. I understand that if you just type it out and sign it, the document can be contested. The same goes for DNR orders and suicide notes. You can write a short version of the note by hand for the police department, photocopy it and put them in separate envelopes. You can then type up a long version where you can completely spill your guts, so to speak, and make at least three copies that you will sign and date and if possible note the time you started and the method used for self deliverance. The police and hospital will probably take a copy each, so if you want someone else to read the note put it in a separate envelope with the persons’ name and address on it along with a postage stamp. Leave the envelope unsealed so the cops can inspect it. Put a post-it note on the envelope asking someone to mail it for you. I have done all this already.
One thing that still has a little indecision involved is the place for all this to take place. I had considered in my own house in my own comfortable reclining chair where it is private, but the biggest drawback to that is that my mortal coil will probably not be discovered for at least one or two months. Even though the house would be unheated and it is winter time, I would probably stink up the place and make it difficult for my landlord to rent the place.Â See, I am even being considerate in my final days. 🙂
The other half of the coin is to do the deed in my (kind-of) junky car. The complication with that is both premature discovery or no discovery. As the real estate agents say, location, location, location. The best place that I can think of is in the parking lot of a hospital near the ER entrance. Being that close will probably negate the need for someone calling 911 or an ambulance and ER personnel could just bring out a gurney to my car. I will be in the passenger seat wearing a Depends. ;(
I think the best time to try this routine is just after midnight, when the visitors and second shift nurses have gone home. Still in my zeal to be discovered within twelve hours but not sooner than two, my timing has to be right and does rely a lot on luck.Â Maybe I could rig up an alarm clock to flash some lights?Â Probably the best thing to do would be to park at the far end of the lot that does not get filled up so quickly.Â Another possible monkey wrench, is that the hospital does have security vehicles that drive around the outside of the hospital. I have no desire to stake out the place for a night to see their timing.
To the other people on this list that are considering ending it all, I give one piece of very good advice.Â Absolutely do not do a thing or make any plans before reading the bookÂ “Final Exit” by Derek Humphry (third edition or later – 2002).Â I repeat – absolutely read the book first. It can be ordered from any book seller.
If I seem to have overlooked anything please leave me a comment.