My names Sydney and I just don’t know what to do anymore 🙁 I try and try my hardest to go day by day without cutting and 🙁 its just been a fail 🙁 its been about more then a year since I started cutting and I regrett the first time I did it and everything 🙁 its done nothing but cause problems for me 🙁 I started cutting because of my friend Esmerelda she would take most of her anger and put it out on me and everything I could barely deal with my problems which was grades and stuff but even if I couldn’t handle it if try my hardest to deal with mine and her problems and honestly 🙁 I wish I tryied handling one thing at a time .:( well I had a boyfriend that I loved so much I remember everything like the first time we got together we only went out for 3 weeks then we broke up for a week then got back together and were together for nine months and honestly I will NEVER. Regret him he was my first love and always will be and honestly I thought and still do have a strong feeling that he is the one for me and we were meant to be together and not meantt to be bestfriends but boyfriend and girlfriend 🙁 but then 3 days before are 10 month anniversary he broke up with me on August 28th 2011. At 10:41 honestly I hate that I remember that I justt want him back iv been so depressed and iv asked God for signs that if were gonna get back together to give me a sign that we are and he would give me a sign and everything so now I’m just waiting but its getting so hard that he’s not mine or my boyfriend anymore he got another girlfriend and like it barely turned 2 months ago he said that he still loved me so much and I cried so hard that night 🙁 but I love him to so much I just want him back and all I ask is that please God bring him back to me I can’t stand this pain I have in me anymore 🙁 I ask that you please take it away 🙁 ever since we broke up my cutting has gotten a little worse I guess and today or yesterday which ever you want to consider I punched the wall and now my nuckles are all fucked up 🙁 I hate this thing we call life yes I pray to God and thank him for letting me wake up everymorning and everything but sometimes I think to myself and just wonder is it really worth it ?? I just don’t know what to do or think anymore 🙁 I just really want to cry so bad cause of all the pain that I have inside of me
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We all have our first loves… Most of us do not stay with them. I know that is not what you want to hear – but it is true hun. Now there is still a chance he will come back. Not sure about the grace of God…. but the grace of Father Time might make him come back.
Losing our first love is one of the hardest things to deal with (if not the hardest thing) at a young age. I feel your pain. I hope it all works out in the best – whatever that may be.
Yeah but idk its like :/ I never meant to fall this hard but I don’t regret it I just don’t really like what it caused like right now 🙁
You cannot help how much you fall. That is up to your heart which (imo) you have no control over. I know it hurts now – but it will get easier. Regardless if he returns or not slowly (maybe very slowly) it will get easier.
Some people follow their brains, others follow their hearts. I have always followed my heart – and I have been burned many times from it. But I could not imagine living life a different way. The mind is more… calculating , but misses out on so many chances of love of all kinds.
Continue to follow your heart.
But what if you try following your heart but it doesn’t really get you anywhere but into more pain then you already were in ?? :/
It is your own person choice to follow your heart or follow your logic.
I am the type to take a chance for love at any moments notice. I have always just followed my heart – even though I know it will bring more heartache. It will also bring more chances of love and happiness (even if those fade into memories too).
Your mind is to calculating for love. It might see you only have a 40% chance to make it with someone and tell you to leave it alone while your heart skips at those odds.
It is a personal choice we all make. Some can even balance it. That is probably the best… I’d say I’m 30% mind 70% heart. If any of this makes sense I am glad.
Yeah , it does make sense I follow kinda both I try and make the better disicion that I think is right but sometimes it just turns into a tottal fail and it backfires at me
Thats life. Trial and error. It’s hard shit I know. But stay true to yourself.
Nee,
I would suggest maybe not to see only one person is the only bf you will ever have.
Life is a series of experiences, and thru each we learn stuff. Good & not so good.
All dating/love has its ups and downs so i would say “learn” from this reln what you (and even him) did well and what you didnt do so well, and try not to repeat them in your next one.
Thats how we grow. Thats what you are here for maybe?
Stay well and take care ok
Addy
Yeah ik but like he’s not the only one iv had :/ since we broke up like iv tried getting over him and stuff and iv gone out with other guys and had other boyfriends and stuff , but idk its like no matter what I do I can’t get over him no matter how hard I try either :/
The past is passed … you can’t change it …the future you can …. it’s entirely up to you …. the power resides with you ….
yeah but what if i cant really figure out who i am anymore then how am i suppose to make things good in the future