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somebody loves you

by chrissie

She sits alone and wonders, when is the end of broken dreams? This isn’t what I pictured. She says as tears run down her cheeks. She needs a friend beside her, she’s looking for a savior. Hold on, hold on. Someone will find you, hold on, hold on. Somebody loves you.

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softsoul 1/14/2012 - 2:11 pm

You are love incarnate…your experience is not a reflection of the awesome person you. Love you, you’re precious…that’s the somebody. You!

Amakua2309 1/15/2012 - 1:05 pm

Good Morning Chrissie,
Looks like they took it easy on you last night in the “rumpus” post…lol….good thing everyone was half in the bag before we got started eh?….lol…nice sometimes to talk about something else is all….we are more than our experiences and feelings….and so are you.
Would love to know more about your story….sorry even the dark side….okay maybe especially the dark side…..might seem like home to me….lol…never….but I’ve experienced it for sure….and still deal with it …so no judgement or fear here for sure….let me know if you want to talk more about it.
And as I am slow but honest…..here is the darned Brownie story….lol

I don’t really like the word client….so I call them my people….just before Xmas one of my people had to go into home….but his wife was in hospital as well….so I had taken their special needs daughter….I love her…to visit her mother and get instructions about what I needed to do for Mario…
During the visit we were asked to leave the room for a moment….so I went out into the hall to wait…..and there was a beautiful woman on a gurney in the hallway….she had just come back from xray and was waiting for them to get her back to her room when code was called and everyone ran…leaving her there alone.

She smiled at me and it was the most beautiful smile I have ever seen….it reached her eyes for sure…..I said,”Well then, have you had some pictures taken? And did you remember to say cheese?”…and she replies…”Ahh men, wouldn’t even let a girl tidy herself up a bit first.” and she chuckles…..and for whatever reason I feel compelled to touch her….so i held her hand and massaged her temple and she lit up like a christmas tree….wow….no words to describe the beauty I was experiencing. We had a lovely conversation about many things and then I sensed someone standing behind and to the left of me. I turned and said hello to the woman standing behind me. She says, “Hi, I’m her daughter. Did my mother tell you that she is going to be 100 on the 9th of January?”….was blown away….yes she was hurt and sick….but 100…no way….so I turned to the old woman and asked the question….lol….I said, “I’m sorry dear…..but I have to ask the question I’m sure you’ve been asked millions of times.” and she replies….”Well you can call me Brownie, and I’d love to answer your question. So I asked. “What is your secret?”

Brownie pulled me in ever closer and started to speak. “The secret is simply this. Work hard, play harder, and never forget you were and are a child first.”….well wow

And then they came to take her into her room. So I waited in the hall with Brownies’ daughter. She asked me if I was okay. I said sure why?….well she says….my mother hasn’t had a lucid conversation with anyone in over a month….they said she was out of her mind….but she talked to you. I said of course she talked to me. She is a lovely woman your mother….and I appreciate all of her advice. Well she says, “Don’t put too much stock in it. My mother hasn’t talked to anyone other than people that no one else can see for quite some time now.”…Oh I said, well it is better where she’s been spending her time….and the people, just because you can’t see them doesn’t make them real.”…She was intrigued and the conversation turned personal…lol….long story short….lol….the best Xmas gift ever….

I was a child, I AM a child….so simple….and describes us all so well I’m afraid. But we spend so much time trying to fit it, to belong, to matter, to count, when all we really want to do is play….lol My oldest daughter says that her children are unique….in that they have a grandmother who still thinks she’s 12 years old, if she knew the truth she would be horrified….lol….12?….not even close….7 maybe…lol
but I still love to play….and Brownie made it respectable…lol….Love love love the wisdom of the old ones.

Cut
See I did it….and if you want to take this to a more personal level let me know….I’m usually around somewhere. Oh yeah, and Satan doesn’t scare me one bit….and he shouldn’t scare you…..why I just ate him for lunch….lol…seriously not intimidated in the least….and only because we have met….not my kinda people if you know what I mean…but no fear here…..my mother always tells me I’m too stooopid to be scared…lol

Live, Learn, Love, and Laugh….always laugh
Amakua

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