I feel like the only reason i’m still here is because i’m so worried about everybody else’s feelings. No one gives a sh*t about my feelings, but here I am, trying to stay alive for these assh*les. I’m just sooo tired of having to pretend that i’m okay, for their benefit. I can’t wait to be FREE!
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Hey Hardly,
yep it can be tiring for sure.
But i ask you this ~ are you only staying alive for the bad people or the good people?
Don’t worry about those that dont worry about you….focus on being yourself. Who needs approval from asses as you put it?
You don’t need their approval or their concern. Stay good ok.
I’m talking about family, they say they love me and i don’t feel it but I still don’t want to hurt anyone.. I have a big family and I’m the youngest..
Hmm okay ….
I “bet” they do love you …. people dont say “the love” word unless they actually mean it trust me.
Maybe however, they don’t “show” it enough? How would you like them to show it or be more caring?
Have you tried asking/telling them your issues and asking for help?
Sometimes adults get busy and focus so much on their problems and forget about their childrens. Sometimes, its up the children to let them know.
Wait till there is some ‘quiet time’ and then go up whichever parent/adult (even brother sister ‘maybe’ and say you want to talk them about stuff.
Do you think that might help?
I think it’s not about the showing love part.. They just aren’t there for me, 10 people that I’ve known since birth have NO IDEA who I am, and they never tried to get to know me. The things they find out on their own only cause them to chastise me and judge me, or they don’t care about things that mean a lot to me… The one time I ever tried to talk to my mother about my feelings of depression she immediately started asking me why I would do that to her and what she had ever done to me to make me so sad… She’s the closest person to me even though she is also distant, but I have no vice. No one else to talk to and no friends.
Hmm, it sounds like your mom ‘maybe’ is scared of feeling like she is a bad mother? That is a terrible and innapropriate thing to say to a child – why are you doing this to me.
I cant be for sure, but it sounds like she has her own worries and maybe is having difficulties of sort?
I do agree with you 100% however that adults should be there to help their children and even others where they can.
I would be happy to be your friend if you only ever want to chat or vent or just ask advice?
Im cool with it and you will at least have another perspective on things? Might help? My email is ~ add my nicname here to 389@gmail.com or 389@hotmail.com for msn.
I live faaaar way (down under) so i may not always be on when u are but im always happy to help and make new friends where i can.
If you can’t rely on ‘others’ in life, then soon, you will just awaken your own strength and realise you can def rely on yourself.
Come have a chat. dont be afraid okay.
thank you ad astra, I will.. you helped a lot; I was in need of an ear. I hope I can awaken that strength you’re talking about SOON..
or if u prefer, chatting here in your posts is def okay too … 🙂
Why do ‘you’ think you get a bit sad at times?
thanks… I get sad because a lot of things go wrong in my life, I seem not to have any luck whatsoever.. I’ve felt like the odd-ball since I was a kid.. I don’t have any friends no one wants to talk to me, people ignore me, including family members, cousins, friends etc. I don’t have any money, which makes it really difficult to go out even if someone invited me.. My family thinks I’m a waste of time and a bum… I wrote a blog on another site if you want to see it… http://canbne1sblog.blogspot.com/.. I was going through more things that day though so it’s a little over-the-top… if you don’t want to read it, that’s okay too, it’s long. but thanks for taking the time to listen, i feel a little better already.
It’s weird how much you remind me of myself, Hardlybreathing. Kind of like swimming in a sea of faces where nobody knows you, wants to know you and are not there for you. Being you doesn’t make sense to them, how you feel doesn’t make sense to them or what you think. And what the most painful thing is that these people are supposed to care about you. Kind of just described my life in a nutshell.
If you’d like someone to talk to I will listen. You don’t have to pay me or have insurance and I’ll even give a sh*t! Crazy, right?
thanks for relating.. I’m just tired of the lengths I have to go to when I need something or someone to talk to.. I wake up everyday and hope that it won’t be a difficult one. And when I am showing how I feel outwardly, they all just think I’m being bitter and they ignore me..
Hey its cool ‘Hardly’ … thankyou for the blog 🙂
Im going to bookmark it okay?
You say …” I’m a Scorpio, too. Which means I look at everything so in-depth that I might look straight past the simple truth”.
have you read some of the things i have posted & commented on? You might be able to relate …i’ll try find the main ones relevant okay?
read whats relevant in the post “My name Ad Astra … a few people have asked ….”
” People commonly feel, I must experience only serenity, perpetual happiness, and have no worries ever. Unfortunately, this is not so…..it is how you approach them practically that matters most.”
If you were my friend, i’d lend you money and take you out so you can have an ok time for a change. Even little things sometimes cheer people up! 🙂
If you prefer, email things you think go wrong in your life ….
Tell me whats not so great but mostly, draw another list of things you would like to happen in life. ..maybe we can work on these?
Ad Astra.
I also say that i ‘think’ A LOT of people here, and you are included, ARE ACTUALLY kinda very smart and ‘i think’ maybe sometimes let so many thoughts into their brain that they become overwhelmed to such a point, they can no longer think clearly or straight?
Do you think thats you? I bet you are actually very normal and a really decent person.
If you want to EVER chat and get a fresh perspective on things or what to do etc, please feel free to add me okay? Id like that a lot.
Take care in the meantime okay…
Ad Astra
I’ve been told that I think too much but it’s only because I know there’s a reason behind everything and a meaning as well… I’ve never been the care-free type, but I wish I could change that… It would be helpful to have another input on things, maybe that’s what I need. I’ll add you, but for now I’m off to try and get some sleep. thanks, goodnight! (well it is for me)
well you know where to get find me if you ever want to …dont ever think of yourself too negatively oay. You ARE better then that promise!!!
I think you’re kinda cool, so there 🙂
Tell me about “positive things” you want to do or achieve in life ~ i’ll try help you try get ‘some’ of them.
Nicely said Shing 🙂
See people do care for even strangers. The world isnt such a bad place all the time 🙂
good nite and take care 🙂 ..chat soon…
I was gonna comment but i hate intruding on conversations, good bye and hope you and i die…
“See people do care for even strangers”
Actually people do not care for strangers.
You are just faking, doing your daily good action.
I feel the same way i almost cried when i read this because of how much i can relate to it
LOL Baal,
You just contradicted yourself no?
You said, “I am faking, just “doing” my daily good action? LOL
Isn’t DOING (eg it takes time & effort) how we define whether we care or not?
If i don’t care “as YOU claim *lol*, why would I even be here? I could be elsewhere doing stuff, going to the beach, shops, movies, friends, could i not?
LOL, don’t make poor assumptions, because you just might be wrong 🙂
What you REALLY mean to say is YOU don’t care….. don’t assume others don.t
🙂
The best choices we make for ourselves come from the heart…the heart is absolutely honest.
Whatever your reasons are, make them for you…your fulfillment is key. Think about what it is to love yourself, we grow up learning to take care of others feelings, thinking everyone else contentment hinders on our ever thought and deed…this is not the case. Consider what is best for you, and how what allow you to feel good..You sound sensitive and it can be a challenge but you’re freakin’ worth in, for sure! Be for you and continue to cultivate the courage inside that, that is all that’s important. Take care.